Editor’s note: While Burt is out taking a nap, we are making do with this Cole Classic that originally ran May 14, 2000. Making do is one of the things I do best. There is no reason to invest the time, money and effort required to do a project the so-called “right way” when “making ...
Thinking about getting married? Are you already signed, sealed and delivered, and wish to stay that way? Gather around, youngsters, as your gray-haired Uncle Burtie divulges how to talk to the woman you desperately hope to keep. Actually, I’m still working on the things TO say. But in my ...
Every fall, it’s the same torturous ordeal. But do I remember to squeeze into a hollow log in the woods? Sign up for a seven-hour board meeting? Or jump off the roof and break my arms to avoid all the pain? No. I only remember these pleasant alternatives a half-second after my sweetie ...
The more the years pass, the more I understand old people. I used to be mystified over the weird ways of the gray and grizzled. “I will never (fill in the blank) when I get to be that old,” I vowed time and again. Now I am. And I do. Way back in 1978, I watched the Grammy Awards with my ...
Cousin Ollie snugged another bale of hay into place. Our pirate ship of timothy and clover was almost complete. "We should call these Hayos," he said. "You know, like Legos, only bigger." "I don't think it'll catch on," I said. "Sure it will," he said. "Hay bales are Legos for farm kids. ...
Hey, quick, tell me, if money actually grew on trees, what would everyon’e favorite season be? Fall, of course! Oh, what do you get when your drop a pumpkin? Yep, squash. You heard what happened when the turkey got into a fight, right? He got the stuffing knocked out of him. As of 9:04 ...
