“I don’t think this is a good idea.” “It’s a perfect idea.” Falser words were never spoken than whenever Ollie — my third cousin twice removed, but not removed far enough to keep me from getting bent, folded, spindled, stapled or mutilated — declared something as a ...

The grownups, as always, were rude. They laughed at our TV heroes in the 1960s — Batman and Robin, Secret Squirrel, Secret Agent 86 Maxwell Smart, Space Ghost and Lance Link, Secret Chimp and other defenders of justice. “They’re just trying to sell you toys,” the grownups scoffed. The ...

Ah, June. School’s out, picnics are in and it’s Turkey Lovers Month. What could be better? Unless you’re a turkey and the lovers turn out to love a good turkey sandwich. Roll out those crazy, hazy, zany days of summer. Besides turkeys, June also marks Fight the Filthy Fly Month and ...

I told you so! Not YOU specifically. Science. I called it in these very pages way back in 2012. It was the only thing that made sense. Sure, I was a little shaky the time that I insisted that the octopus is the spider of the sea. Maybe my plan to raise a breed of roof goats to keep moss ...

“I’m not a complete idiot,” the sign stated. “Some parts are missing.” The next sign over read: “If I had a dollar for everything I’ve lost… I’d probably lose that too.” Mankind’s most popular hobby just might be losing things. I had the statistics to confirm that but, ...

There were no YouTube tutorials to teach me how to drive a tractor. I had to learn the old-fashioned way — Dad yelling at me every time I popped the clutch, bucking him off the sputtering Farmall. Or maybe it was Dad who was sputtering. The main reason for the lack of video tutorials back in ...