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Burton Cole

If you were an animal, would you have fleas?

If you were an animal, what kind of animal would you be? That has to be one of the worst job interview questions ever, right up there with if you were a tree what kind of tree would you be? Listen, if you’re hiring a proboscis monkey to run the drill press or a maple sapling to drive a tow ...

As I told Elvis the other day, I remember it well

The scene is imprinted in my memory in full Kodachrome color. There I was, hoofing it at a pretty good pace on my daily 10-mile run, when suddenly out of the woods burst a... No, wait. That was somebody else. I know it wasn’t me because I haven’t run a roll of Kodachrome in years. Or ...

Youngstown schools chief, on way out, urges patience

YOUNGSTOWN — Outgoing Youngstown schools Superintendent Joseph Meranto is optimistic the current board of education and CEO Justin Jennings can work together and remove the district from control of a state academic distress commission. Meranto, however, warned the district needs stability ...

Do you hear what irksome thing I hear?

Bouncing my leg. Clicking my pen. Breathing. These are just a few of my favorite things that repeatedly annoy my wife’s low tolerance for noise. Terry has sensitive ears. Mine barely work. No, that’s not true. Terry has a very soft voice. And the volume control on our TV and CD player ...

What happened to the simple things of life that I knew how to work?

Before I became a fossil, I used to be able to do things. That was before young punk kids improved simple tasks, complicating them beyond human capability. Or beyond mine. When I was a kid, we turned on the black-and-white TV by actually turning a knob. That’s why it’s called “turning ...