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Burton Cole

Not all that glitters is welcome on the carpet

I froze when I pulled the card out of the mailbox. It was from my sister-in-law, the one famous for packing greeting cards with a fiesta of tiny, shimmering confetti. Open the card without precautions and a shower of shiny cutouts of party hats, streamers and noisemakers, and silhouettes of ...

New lexicon bumfuzzles befuddles wordsmith

The guy in the electronics department asked what sounded like an impertinent question: “Do you want a mouse with a dongle or without?” “Excuse me?” “Your wireless mouse, do you want one with a dongle or are you using WiFi?” I still find it odd that we call the little slidey ...

Lunchtime language: Same words, different menus

Learn, young grasshoppers, from the wisdom of an old widower: The reason communication can be so difficult in marriage is that while we use the same words, we speak different languages. I learned this many decades ago when I had the morning off, didn’t feel like cooking and had no money. I ...

Survey says: Answer your own questions

It seems like a guy can’t even buy a hamburger without getting a side of surveys. I ran into a store for a box of tissues and a birthday card. A few minutes later, a survey popped up in my email: “Please tell us about your shopping experience.” Pick up a prescription and get handed a ...

Make a note of that

My life is a series of lists. I used to remember things. Now I write lists. My pants and shirt pockets are stuffed with assorted scraps of paper-bearing lists — none of them the ones that I need at the time. Magnets hold several lists on the refrigerator, including the shopping list. But I ...

In a land before Google, imaginary dogs bought us time

“There was a time,” I said, “when Google wasn’t my constant companion. No, seriously.” The kid’s face scrunched in perplexity. He almost looked up from his screen. “How did you do your homework? Where could you scroll for answers?” “Not scroll. Stroll,” I said. “I ...