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Burton Cole

Shh! I’m watching the black-and-white static

I do not have TV service hooked up in my apartment. I have neither cable, dish nor streaming. Nor do I have rabbit ears wrapped in tin foil — but I have fond memories of such high-tech solutions. (Hey, fellow old-timers, remember smacking the side of the set to fix the vertical hold? Fun ...

Drink upstream of the herd, and other life lessons

Years ago, when I was in the market for life lessons, I came across a run of cowboy wisdom. The wisdom included nuggets like these: • Don’t squat with your spurs on. • Always drink upstream from the herd. • Just ’cause trouble comes visiting doesn’t mean you have to offer it a ...

What’s for supper? The cap’n says it’s glop

I enjoy cooking. I’m good at baking, boiling or browning good eats. But I came home from my last grocery shopping trip with a gallon of milk, one box of Golden Grahams and one box of Reese’s Puffs. And a tube of peel-and-eat cookie dough for dessert. That’s the thing about being a ...

Folding sheets with no one fit for blame

The epiphany splatted me upside the head at the laundromat. (Being splatted by an epiphany is something like being socked by a fit, but without the frustration of being swamped by a fitted sheet.) I had just flipped open the washing machine lid to discover “snow” splattered throughout ...

Pajama tops and fruity shampoos — a chilly love story

It had been a long, tiring day. All I wanted to do was to snuggle into comfy pajamas, flop in my chair with a good (comic) book, and relax. I pulled flannel pajama bottoms from my drawer. Perfect. Then I padded, sifted and slammed through every bedroom drawer, searching for the matching ...

When is a junk drawer truly a junk drawer?

Dried-up rubber bands and balls of single shoelaces. Nine-volt batteries and decks of cards without any aces. Brown paper from packages with snippets of strings… These are a few of my favorite (junk drawer) things. (If you sang the above lines, I offer my apologies to you, Rodgers, ...