“Aren’t those the same pants you wore yesterday?” “Of course,” I said. “The pockets were already loaded.” His eyebrows arched. “With what?” “Keys, pens, cards, coins, memory stick, phone — everything in its pocketed place and ready to go.” I don’t need trendy ...
I rechecked the numbers, praying for a glorious mistake. Nope. The math was correct. “We’ve got to stop indulging our whims and fancies,” I said. “We can’t afford it.” “I’ve laid in a good supply of fancies in the root cellar. That should hold us for a while,” Terry said. ...
Her car was very, very dead. I parked behind her, my four-ways flashing, and offered to look under the hood. I grew up with Backyard Auto Mechanics who were always hunched under hoods, coaxing vehicles to roaring zest with a few deft moves with hammers, wrenches and the occasional stick of ...
Forbes magazine recently asked, “Is there science behind why teens wear hoodies in the summer?” You may not believe this, but I myself was once a teen. It’s true. I was. I remember this one time when Georgie Washington, Tommy Jefferson, Benny Franklin and I were out playing tag behind ...
Rest easy — science has confirmed that spiders sleep. Also, Spider-Man turned 60 this month, so you know that he naps, too. While no scientific study was conducted on Spider-Man’s slumber habits, you better believe researchers focused their spy cameras on the bedchambers of spiders to ...
It’s playoffs time, and we’ve got a snark-fest for you today, folks. In a triple-threat match of masters of offbeat one-liners, we present Mitch Hedberg (1968-2005) vs. Steven Wright (born 1955) vs. Julius “Groucho” Marx (1890-1977). Let’s get right to the action. “You know, ...
