EDITOR’S NOTE: Enjoy this Cole Classic is from 2018 while Burt relaxes on his vacation. “Live each day as if it was your last,” the sage said. So I called off work. If I knew these were my last 24 hours on Earth, there’s no way I’d squander eight or 10 of them chained to a ...

“Say, did I ever tell you how I got this scar right here on my thumb?” “Only about a hundred times,” the storyteller’s victim says. “I’m surprised you have any thumb left, what with all the different things that caused that itty-bitty scratch.” “Well, sir, it had been a ...

Another round of mean nastiness comes to a close Tuesday, which is Election Day, and quite frankly, I don’t know if I’m going to make it. But this was nothing compared to the bickering, mudslinging, boasts and befuddlements that await us next year. It’s ugly stupidity. I say it’s ...

“It takes courage for a man to admit his wife is wrong.” I shuddered when I ran across that quote the other day. I couldn’t find who said it. He’s probably tucked away under 17 layers of cover in the witness protection program. I once had the nerve to ask Terry, “Does it get boring ...

Since my wife passed in June, I once again have been left to my own devices. It is going as well as can be expected — which is to say disastrous. The day I finally decided to wash the growing stack of dishes, the kitchen faucet snapped off. One moment I was swinging the faucet over one of ...

I don’t trust artificial intelligence. I base this on my own intelligence, which isn’t artificial. It’s fully functioning ficial. No arti involved. Here’s what real intelligence tells me: Artificial begins with the same root as artichoke, which is a substance that makes me choke ...