Our bathroom contains a bar of soap that’s never been opened. It perches on a shelf, wrapped in floral paper, bound with ribbon and adorned with a plastic ladybug. Even if car grease blackens my arms and grass clippings stain my hands, I dare not use this soap. It’s for decoration. I ...

The shout shattered the afternoon serenity: “Guys! I hooked one!” Amid the groans of the others, McManus tipped his hat off his eyes, raised up to his elbows and spit out the blade of grass he’d been chewing. “Accidents happen. Shake it free.” The fishing camp rookie cranked his ...

I don’t know if it’s a terminal case, but I’m turning into a guy who notices things. A light bulb that needs to be changed. A change of hairstyle. My socks on the floor ... It frightens me. Guys noticing things just isn’t done. A few years back, Terry moved my car keys. I panicked. I ...

When the lunch ladies served us tomato slices on our trays at Monroe Elementary School, I went back to tell them the sugar was missing. Mrs. Humphrey eyed me like she was trying to figure out the prank. “Nobody puts sugar on tomatoes.” “We do it all the time at home,” I said. She ...

Alarm clocks would be easier to ignore if bladders didn’t eavesdrop. It doesn’t matter how long or little I’ve been happily slumbering, the bell startles my bladder like a nervous bunny. It hops about, chanting, “Gotta go, gotta go, gotta go right now.” Pavlov’s dogs were chill by ...

I grew up on a small family farm where we always had one beef in the freezer and the next fattening up in the barn. We dined on steak, pork and chicken. But NEVER crickets. Nor grasshoppers, mealworms nor grubs. If Mom found bugs crawling through the flour, out it went. Creepy crawlies had no ...