I think my anxiety is giving me anxiety.

Look, I’ve been a worry wort for the past 55 years and it’s worked great so far.

OK, that’s a stretch. But I do have to admit that I’ve had it for so long, we’ve sort of become friends, my anxiety and me!

According to consumer

review.com, the top benefits are as follows:

• Regulates nervous system;

• Relieves muscle tension;

• Strengthens immune system;

• Balances cortisol levels (whatever those are);

• Promotes restful sleep.

Lets take a moment to review some of these, shall we?

First, about the whole nervous system regulation: I found some tips:

• Take deep breaths — Well duh. Even a doofus like me knew that one.

• Follow the 30-90 second rule — Since I wasn’t sure what the particular regulation stipulates, I did what any competent correspondent would, I looked it up to engage in sorta legal copyright infringement. Hee!

• Visualize your happy place — Ooh, Key West, here I come! Well, virtually, at least.

• Practice deep breathing — Call me kooky but isn’t that the same as taking deep breaths. Hmm.

• Walk barefoot — This would be so effective is I wasn’t a complete germophobe. Besides, I can barely stand my unsightly feet in private, let alone showing those puppies to the wide world!

• Practice lifestyle interventions — It seems that exercise, a healthy diet and getting sleep are critical. Again with the “Well, duh!’ This includes but is not limited to lying or sitting in a comfortable position with your hands on your abdomen and take a deep breath (now they’re just getting on my nerves, these tips. Redundant much? Phooey!) Continue to inhale and exhale deeply for five minutes. Um, or for as long as you plan on kicking around this big blue marble, Hello?

• Enjoy a session of deep breathing at least two to three times a day — OK, enough with the breathing already. I mean most of us do it like breathing? You had to see that one coming, no?

• Take a supplement — I don’t know about you but the one called “Nature’s Bounty” seems like the obvious choice, right?

A panicker like yours truly probably has no given right to tell you rational folks how to behave, but please bear with me, anyway. Thanks.

Here’s some old PK-ness to add to the tried-and-true methods.

• Pray — The big guy is listening. He’s real and he’s all knowing and all forgiving — which just so happens to be a pretty darned good thing for us humans, by the by. We should all try it on for size. The forgiving part, that is.

• Hope — My favorite part of the movie “Shawshank Redemption” is in the end where Andy has instructed Red to never give up hope because not only is a good thing, but it could possibly be the best thing,

Personally, I’ll count on good old prayer any day of the week. And twice on Sunday.

See what I did there?

Well, my limited wisdom has brought me to the end of my (and the experts’) opinions but here’s the really good news: Though you can count on very few things in life, they sort of come in an unending supply.

To quote one of my favorite apostles, St. Paul, “The greatest of these is love.” Mwah to you all!

Kimerer is a columnist who reminds you to don’t forget to breathe. Contact her at pkimerer@zoominternet.net.