Totally go back in time with this ’80s child

My Sentiments Exactly

Oh, old PK and her internet meanderings.

This week, your favorite annoyance went delving into an article on www.bing.com entitled, “You Know You’re a Child of the ’80s When…”

The contents of the article amused me a bit, so I thought I’d share them with my favorite readers; those being any who are willing to continue following my silly ramblings week after week.

And thank you to you both, by the by.

I digress.

The article honoring the nostalgic ’80s offered some of the following as tell-tale signs as characteristics of those of us who are children of said decade:

• The biggest mystery in the world was “Who shot J.R.” (from the TV show “Dallas”). I’m guilty here. In my house, Fridays meant following the Texas oil baron drama.

• Alvin Stardust taught you how to cross the road, using the classic phrase “You must be out of your tiny minds.” Odd little guy, that Alvin.

• You remember when there was no breakfast TV, and TV shut down at midnight. Totally. And also, wasn’t there the whole fuzzy screen situation going on once the big three networks went off the air for the night? Oh yes, youngsters, there was a time when TV broadcasting did NOT happen 24/7. Yikes!

• You use the words keyboard and synthesizer interchangeably. What, you mean they aren’t the same thing? Hmm.

• You can name at least half of the members of the elite “Brat Pack.” For you wee ones, these included actors Emilio Estevez, Anthony Michael Hall, Rob Lowe, Andrew McCarthy, Demi Moore, Judd Nelson, Molly Ringwald, Ally Sheedy and, although she’s sometimes left off the list, Mare Winningham. Okay, so none of them went on to win Oscars; it was the ’80s, yo.

• You wanted to be a “Goonie.” Now, in the interest of full disclosure, I never actually watched that flick. Gosh, I hope they don’t rescind my ’80s child status?

• ATARI was the state-of-the-art video game system, and “Pong” was tops until “Donkey Kong” came along.

• You owned cassettes, especially those by “Spandau Ballet.”

• You danced to pop stars like Debbie Gibson and Tiffany. Yeah, I’m not necessarily proud of that one either but GULP, guilty again.

• You believed that in the year 2000, we’d all be living on the moon, wearing silver suits and driving flying cars.

• You wore fluorescent, neon clothing and could breakdance (or wished you could).

• “Partying like it’s 1999” seemed SO far away.

• You wore a banana clip at some point during your youth or knew someone who did. FYI, I totally did this.

• “Back to the Future” holds a special place in your heart.

• You remember David Hasselhoff when he wore clothes and talked to his car.

• You know where to go if you wanna go where everybody knows your name.

• You thought “Dirty Dancing” was a REALLY good movie. Hey! It was!

• You’ve heard of Cabbage Patch Dolls and Glow-worms.

• “Poltergeist” freaked you out.

• You carried your lunch to school in a Gremlins or an ET lunchbox.

Anyway, my fellow 80s kids, I say we crank up the New Wave tunes, grab our Rubik’s Cubes, and party like it’s you-know-when!


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