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Patty Kimerer

Fashion trends are confusing and some need to go away

Ever since that episode of “Sex and the City” in which Carrie Bradshaw made an argument for it, I’ve taken the WIDE liberty of considering myself something of an artist. Hey! I can hear y’all laughing all the way from here. Unnecessarily hurtful. Ahem. As I was saying, the fictional ...

Christmas contraband coffee creamer coveted

Well, it’s only a matter of days now. Hours, really, if you want to get technical. Soon and very soon, I’m going to burn through my entire supply. The whole stockpile. Poof! And then... life will take a very dark turn for PK, folks. It’ll be a sad, sad day, one lamented until the very ...

Pick a resolution and don’t feeling guilty if it’s self-love

You say you need a resolution? Well, you know, it’s true, we all wanna change ... um, lots of stuff, I suppose. Mostly personal, am I right? It is a fact that, just as the earth dwellers have done from cave-critter days through the log cabin phase up to the present flip-this-house day, we ...

Contemplating big issues at end of another decade

There’s nothing like the end of a year — especially one that concludes a decade — to make one reflective. I mean, there’s a reason “Auld Lang Syne” gets played 87 bazillion times annually between Dec. 26 and Jan. 1, capisce? The humans like to take time to think about what’s ...

Time to put the to-do list aside and honor the season

And now, as always, the annual obligatory homage to “A Visit from St. Nicholas” by Clement Clarke Moore — as told by jolly ol’ PK. ’Twas three nights before Christmas When all through the casa I was losing my grip Like a falling Mufasa. The wedding soup was made, As were ...

Notes to my new mommy self: Chill and enjoy

Exactly 20 years ago today (down to the moment, depending on when you read the paper), I brought home the best early Christmas present I ever will receive: my baby boy. Yep, it was cold and snowy on Dec. 8, 1999. I remember clearly because the chilled air had me wrapping that infant tighter ...

Let Ralphie’s story lead you into holiday hustle

Well, this is it. Crunch time. T-minus 23 shopping days and counting. Or would it be T-minus 24 days? I mean, technically there ARE stores open on Christmas Day. Hmpf. As fictional matriarch Marie Barone of the sitcom “Everybody Loves Raymond” often told her son: “I don’t like ...

’Twas the night before Black Friday, and I’m staying home

I’m breaking with tradition a little … and rushing the seasonal theme a tad, I know! But I thought I’d take a humorous angle on Turkey Day ala Clement Moore’s, “A Visit from St. Nicholas.” Don’t worry, you’ll still get saddled with that one next month, too. I digress. ’Twas ...

An open letter to those not freezing to death in Ohio

An open letter to my family members and friends who live in snow-free locations: Hello! I hope this note finds you well and happy. Gosh, who can believe we’re almost done with 2019. It’s been another whirlwind year at Casa Kimerer! Say, as a special favor in the spirit of the ...

College life is good for the kid, but not so good for mom

It’s such a huge adjustment, really; going from high school to college. I mean, the move alone is a major modification to life as you know it. Everything you knew before of regular old existence at the homestead is turned completely upside down, physically and, you know, in the ...