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Patty Kimerer

Let’s take a stroll down food, er, memory, lane

It’s amazing, really, what triggers memories in the humans. Frankly, even the faintest of feels can spark total recall in the average earth-dweller. At least, that’s what I’ve noticed in my 53 years of observing, I dunno, about a gazillion or so of them. I mean, give or take a zillion, ...

Adversity builds character and dippy proverbs

You know how they say what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger? I think that’s true. You know how they say adversity is the foundation of virtue? I think that’s also pretty accurate. I mean, after all, it’s like they ALSO say: “Into every life, a little rain must fall.” Right? ...

Answer: Chocolate; Question: Uh, um — yum?

I like chocolate. I like it ... a lot. We’ve been seeing each other for a very long time now. As long as I can remember, actually. And, I’m not going to lie, it’s gotten pretty serious. Our relationship has truly been one of the greatest sources of warmth and joy, consistently, over ...

Spending COVID-19 birthday on an island

So, yesterday I finished my 52nd rotation of the sun. Started the old 53rd. It’s funny how, the older you get, the less you care about outwardly observing the day you made your big debut to the other humans, no? Well, that’s how it is for THIS human, anyway. I’d much rather celebrate ...

Sleep well, Monamoosh; you will be missed

She had a decidedly off-center smile, partly due to that one jagged incisor, which jutted out unceremoniously. I called it her snaggle tooth. But that was sort of the least of her worries, given that her oversized tongue NEVER FIT INTO HER MOUTH. Literally. The result? Her pie-hole rarely ...

Suffering through another daylight saving time

Well, it’s upon us once again — that ridiculous date on which we are all forced, kicking and screaming, into “springing ahead.” Yep, it’s here already, people: crummy old daylight saving time day. AKA, the date on which we annually lose 86,400 seconds. BLECH. I’m not sure what ...

Face masks block germs, kill conversations

Remember that adage, “Cat got your tongue?” You know, it’s that little quip we shoot out at someone when they’re uncharacteristically quiet. Or more specifically, when they’re completely ignoring us, yo. It’s pretty much a low-key dig, yet the phrase is an oldie but a, well, ...

Just a girl missing her dad as he sends signs

Well, it’s here. The day I’ve been dreading for exactly one year. It is the anniversary of the day my Pop died. Anniversary doesn’t seem like the right word to use, does it? That generally connotes happy feels, no? That ain’t any part of today, yo. It’s been, all at once, an ...

Best big brother’s birthday? Better believe it

Do you know what Wednesday was? Well, yes, Ash Wednesday and the start of the Lenten season. Let the fish fry and pierogi sessions commence! It also happened to mark the one-year anniversary of my gig at my day job. And what a sweet little situation it is. My work peeps are fab, and I’m ...

Searching for fulfillment in a frozen February

Ah, February. For me, it’s such a complicated calendar contribution, ’kay? First of all, the whole there’s that whole “not enough days”-ness of it. Who the heck decided that and why? I’m missing something here. In fact, we all are — like a couple of earth axis rotations. Except ...