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Patty Kimerer

Quarantine makes for one slightly crabby Patty

Well, the global Groundhog Day scenario continues, eh? Hmpf. I feel you, friends. And yep, there’s no denying it: Our current sitch here on the third rock is scaring the stuffings out of old PK. Period. So I feel the need to again remind everyone of the CDC COVID-19 Guidelines for ...

Low-maintenance girls are quarantine queens

You know, now is when it finally pays off to be me. Oh, I know, I’m a dork by all estimations and of fairly considerable percentage. I don’t carry designer bags. I buy formal dresswear exclusively from the clearance bin. On the rare occasion you see nail polish on these man hands of ...

Working from home is a sacrifice we can all enjoy

We’re not talking about it. Okay, we technically are. But I’m not mentioning IT, specifically. Well, not by name, expressly. This week, anyway. Not because I’m not taking it seriously. I am. Boy, am I. It’s not because I’m not scared. I am. Man, am I. It’s not that I don’t ...

We’ll get through this together, at a distance

You probably haven’t heard much about it yet in your area. It’s a new thing, really. Just burst onto the scene about back in ... oh, late December, I believe. Nah, I’m not referring to the whole deal with the super-jolly dude in red flying around on his big old sleigh with his cool ...

Pop was always there and will always be remembered

Fernando. Fred. Freddie. Hon. Dad. Foh-pa. Bop. Grandpa Marinucci. Honorary big brother. Mr. Marinucci. Marinuch. My father was called many different names by a myriad of folks. As for me? I called him Pop. I was pretty much the only one who referred to him that way. I think that’s ...

Don’t worry about what you hear; you know you

It all happened so quickly. It was over nearly before it started. “Are we the only ones in here?” I faintly heard one gal ask another from my stall at the far wall end of the ladies room. “I think so,” came the somewhat muted reply as I tried to whip up a sham sneeze in attempts to ...

Woop! Woop! Swim parents: GOOOOOOO!

Swim parents. We’re a breed unto ourselves, to be certain. Take one glance and it’s clear that we aren’t your typical sports moms and dads. Or aunts and uncles, grammas and grampas, or general fans of float. We don’t cuss, fuss or tell the coach how to wrangle his school of fish. ...

On behalf of all the loners: Leave us alone!

I have to say that I’ve felt this way for quite some time now. It’s just that I’m always hesitant to broach a topic that could be easily construed as controversial. Especially in the current political climate, I am reticent to even mention the subject. But, no. You know what? This ...

PUNKatawney Phil is a liar; 49ers are doomed

The thing about Groundhog Day and the Super Bowl being on the same day is — other than the fact that it’s only happened once before — it’s just double the depression for old PK. Here’s why: No. 1: There’ll never NOT be more winter after Groundhog Day. Look, I’m sorry to toss ...

Fashion trends are confusing and some need to go away

Ever since that episode of “Sex and the City” in which Carrie Bradshaw made an argument for it, I’ve taken the WIDE liberty of considering myself something of an artist. Hey! I can hear y’all laughing all the way from here. Unnecessarily hurtful. Ahem. As I was saying, the fictional ...