Let’s talk about family dynamics. And I’ll be honest — this one might get me in trouble. But here we go anyway, with as much grace and generality as I can offer.

Blending families is no small task. It’s not just two people saying “I do” and riding off into the sunset.

Nope. It’s more like merging multiple highways of history, values, traditions, quirks and expectations into one intersection, with no traffic lights.

And the ones directing the flow (or getting caught smack in the middle) are the two people who chose each other. The two who fell in love.

The two who just wanted to build something beautiful together.

But then, there’s the noise.

There are roots. Families of origin. Ways of life that were ingrained long before the wedding invitations were ever sent. Where people live, how they were raised, their approach to work, holidays, communication, affection, conflict… all of it creates this intricate dance.

And if you’re not in sync? Let’s just say there are a lot of stubbed, if not broken, toes.

Sometimes, if you’re lucky, merging two families becomes this beautiful expansion — this wider net of love, support and shared identity. Where there is openness.

But that’s not always the case. And I think more people need to hear that they’re not alone if their experience looks different.

It’s hard to admit that love might not always be enough to fix the tension.

That some things just don’t line up easily. That the “middle” is not just a metaphor — it’s a real, emotionally exhausting space.

For those in that middle: I see you.

You’re the peacemaker. The translator. The one trying to honor your roots without betraying your present. You’re placating on one side, holding boundaries on the other and constantly calculating how much truth you can share before things go off the rails. You try to keep everyone happy… and end up feeling like no one really is.

There’s no perfect blueprint for blending families. No universal solution for what happens when someone’s “normal” is someone else’s “never.” Religion, ethnicity, money — all those are the obvious ones. But it’s the subtle things, too.

Like who does dishes after dinner? Whether birthdays are huge celebrations or quiet acknowledgments. How love is shown. How grief is processed. Whether problems are tackled head-on or swept under the rug with a smile.

And sometimes… It’s not even about big disagreements. Sometimes it’s the quiet misunderstandings, the assumptions, the silence that speaks louder than any argument. And those moments are tough, because you start to question whether there’s room for your version of family within this new one you’re trying to grow.

Now, I’ll admit — my take is probably shaped by the fact that I have two boys. And the thought of one day being sidelined from their lives because a new family dynamic doesn’t quite fit me in?

It’s heartbreaking. So maybe that’s why I’m writing this. To say to all the parents, grandparents, cousins, siblings, in-laws and bonus family members out there:

Please — offer grace.

Show patience.

Lead with curiosity before criticism.

Understand that just because it’s different, doesn’t mean it’s wrong.

And to the two people at the center of it all, keep choosing each other.

Keep talking, keep trying, and when you feel like you’re losing ground, remind yourselves why you built this new family in the first place.

This one’s layered. And real. And yes, maybe a little raw. But if even one person reads this and breathes a little easier because they realize they’re not alone in the mess and beauty of family dynamics, then it’s worth it.

From me to you… You got this.

Mother, author, entrepreneur and founder of Dandelion-Inc, Lisa Resnick wants to hear your story. Share memories with her by emailing lisa@dandelion-inc.com.