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Burton Cole

Relieve Election Day moanings with dad jokes groanings

Another round of mean nastiness comes to a close Tuesday, which is Election Day, and quite frankly, I don’t know if I’m going to make it. But this was nothing compared to the bickering, mudslinging, boasts and befuddlements that await us next year. It’s ugly stupidity. I say it’s ...

Admit she’s right. It’ll go easier on all of us

“It takes courage for a man to admit his wife is wrong.” I shuddered when I ran across that quote the other day. I couldn’t find who said it. He’s probably tucked away under 17 layers of cover in the witness protection program. I once had the nerve to ask Terry, “Does it get boring ...

Decorating becomes disaster for widower left to own devices

Since my wife passed in June, I once again have been left to my own devices. It is going as well as can be expected — which is to say disastrous. The day I finally decided to wash the growing stack of dishes, the kitchen faucet snapped off. One moment I was swinging the faucet over one of ...

Choking on artichokes artificially intelligently

I don’t trust artificial intelligence. I base this on my own intelligence, which isn’t artificial. It’s fully functioning ficial. No arti involved. Here’s what real intelligence tells me: Artificial begins with the same root as artichoke, which is a substance that makes me choke ...

I know nothing, and you can’t prove that I do

When I was younger, I knew a lot less than I claimed. I didn’t want to be embarrassed. There are certain things a guy’s supposed to know and I didn’t want to admit in front of my he-man buddies and cousins that I didn’t. How to repair car engines should be part one of those ...

Unwilling bachelor works with clothesline, branches

The other day as I was hanging my laundry on the line … What? You didn’t expect a guy to know how to hang clothes? Or to bother? Since my wife passed away in June, I’ve rediscovering lots of skills that many guys won’t admit to knowing. I was fortunate in marriage. Since I don’t ...