I am NOT tickled pink over this one. It makes me blue. According gift and ornament retailer Unifury, online searches for “Pink Christmas Tree” shot up 286 percent over the last six months. Thanks, Barbie. What a doll. Barbie and I were born the same year. We’re both in our mid-60s, ...
I clawed through the closet, holding up one tie, then another, then another against my oddly buttoned shirt, trying to remembered what patterns clashed with what. As I settled on an understated yet tasteful Scooby-Doo neckpiece to go with my suit, the truth dawned on me: I have lost the art of ...
EDITOR’S NOTE: Enjoy this Cole Classic is from 2018 while Burt relaxes on his vacation. “Live each day as if it was your last,” the sage said. So I called off work. If I knew these were my last 24 hours on Earth, there’s no way I’d squander eight or 10 of them chained to a ...
“Say, did I ever tell you how I got this scar right here on my thumb?” “Only about a hundred times,” the storyteller’s victim says. “I’m surprised you have any thumb left, what with all the different things that caused that itty-bitty scratch.” “Well, sir, it had been a ...
Another round of mean nastiness comes to a close Tuesday, which is Election Day, and quite frankly, I don’t know if I’m going to make it. But this was nothing compared to the bickering, mudslinging, boasts and befuddlements that await us next year. It’s ugly stupidity. I say it’s ...
“It takes courage for a man to admit his wife is wrong.” I shuddered when I ran across that quote the other day. I couldn’t find who said it. He’s probably tucked away under 17 layers of cover in the witness protection program. I once had the nerve to ask Terry, “Does it get boring ...
