Since my wife passed in June, I once again have been left to my own devices. It is going as well as can be expected — which is to say disastrous. The day I finally decided to wash the growing stack of dishes, the kitchen faucet snapped off. One moment I was swinging the faucet over one of ...
I don’t trust artificial intelligence. I base this on my own intelligence, which isn’t artificial. It’s fully functioning ficial. No arti involved. Here’s what real intelligence tells me: Artificial begins with the same root as artichoke, which is a substance that makes me choke ...
When I was younger, I knew a lot less than I claimed. I didn’t want to be embarrassed. There are certain things a guy’s supposed to know and I didn’t want to admit in front of my he-man buddies and cousins that I didn’t. How to repair car engines should be part one of those ...
The other day as I was hanging my laundry on the line … What? You didn’t expect a guy to know how to hang clothes? Or to bother? Since my wife passed away in June, I’ve rediscovering lots of skills that many guys won’t admit to knowing. I was fortunate in marriage. Since I don’t ...
EDITOR’S NOTE: This classic column is being republished as humor columnist Burt Cole is on vacation. “Aren’t those the same pants you wore yesterday?” “Of course,” I said. “The pockets were already loaded.” His eyebrows arched. “With what?” “Keys, pens, cards, coins, memory stick, phone — everything in its pocketed place and ready to go.” I don’t need trendy trousers. I wear a walking filing cabinet cinched by a belt. The joke for years was that women carried bottomless purses, like Mary Poppins’ carpet bag. Me, I dream of boundless ...
EDITOR’S NOTE: Burt ran away from work this work, but he’ll be back soon. Until then, enjoy a classic column originally published in 2019. It’s been decades since I last ran away from home. I was 3. I wriggled through the tunnel my beagle burrowed under the backyard fence and set out ...
