When I was 16, I had all the answers but no one would listen to me, especially not my parents.

When I was 32, I had plenty of life experience to draw from to advice others, but no one would listen to me, especially not my kids.

Now another 32 years have zipped past and I’m just sloshing with gallons of knowledge and tubs of life experiences, and doggone it, it’s about time that somebody listened to me!

That’s what happens when a person gets older — everything starts to click. Knees, back, neck… everything clicks. It takes a whole rhythm section to get out of a chair.

But we also have a learned a few things. Those aren’t gray streaks in my hair; they’re wisdom highlights.

That’s why I have joined Cranky Codgers Society for Betterment of Society (Stay Off My Lawn When I’m Talking to You), or CCSFBS (SOMLWITTY) for short.

Our motto comes from the great philosopher and pitcher Satchel Paige, who said, “How old would you be if didn’t know how old you was?”

When I do wobble to my feet and stop swaying, I’ll be ready to share my wisdom of the aged like a gray-haired PEZ dispenser. So listen up.

The main thing I’ve learned is that being an adult is stupid. Growing up was the most ignorant act I’ve committed in my entire life. Here a few observations from myself and other members of CCSFBS (SOMLWITTY) — our combined wisdom on the stupidity of adulthood.

l Nobody offers to show me a cool rock they found anymore. Adulthood is stupid.

l No one asked me if I can run faster in my new shoes. Adulthood is stupid.

l I couldn’t wait to grow up so I could grow hair on my chin and chest instead of just my head. Things are getting a little thin above, but the whiskers are going great — sprouting from ears, nostrils and belly. This adult thing is just plain whacked.

l As a kid, I longed for the day when nobody would get to tell me what to do. As an adult, I keep looking for someone to tell me what to do. Yeah, stupid.

l I got excited over a new crockpot. In fact, I now know why people on game shows get so excited to win refrigerators, washers and other appliances. Can being an adult be anymore stupid?

l No one forces me to take a nap. I volunteer. But no one tells me how proud of me they are when I do. What a stupid thing adulthood turned out to be.

l I used to sneak out my house to go to parties. Now I sneak out of parties to go to my house. Adulthood is stupid (but I’m not — remember pouting when you weren’t invited to the party. Now we cry if we are. Adulting is… you know).

l Adults used to plunk me down in front of kids I’d never met and say, “You’re the same age. Go play.” Now everyone my age looks way older than me. But we all just want to leave the party and take a nap. Go play, indeed. Adulthood is stupid.

l No longer does anyone reward me with a personal pan pizza for reading books. Being an adult is so stupid.

l I no longer fear monsters under my bed. I’m afraid there won’t be one to gobble me up so that I won’t have to go to work. But I have to go work so that I can afford paper towels and laundry detergent. Stupid adulthood.

So kids, don’t grow up, you hear me?

Still not listening to me? Being an adult is stupid.

• Join Cole and the rocking chair gang at CCSFBS (SOMLWITTY) at burts eyeview@tribtoday.com or the Burton W. Cole page on Facebook.