Andy Gray

Last week, after I introduced myself to Average White Band’s Alan Gorrie at the start of a phone interview, he replied, “That’s a fine, proper Scottish name.”

It is. I’m a bit of a European mutt ethnically, but Scotland definitely is part of a mix that includes Ireland, Germany and Wales.

I like my name. It’s short, punchy. If I’d been a DJ instead of a reporter, I probably wouldn’t have had to change it. And I didn’t grow up with a half-dozen other Andys in my class.

The experience might have been different if I’d lived in Scotland.

There’s a famous Scottish footballer named Andy Gray, who was good enough to make the all-century team for the Premier League’s Crystal Palace F.C. Gorrie mentioned that one.

There’s also a second Andy Gray who played football and became a football commentator. He appears to be less beloved … a lot less beloved.

A while back I discovered there are dozens of Facebook groups devoted to hating Andy Gray. Several of them have names I can’t even print here, or at least fall into a gray area — no pun intended — of British slang that would be unacceptable if it was the American equivalent.

The are groups whose names compare Andy Gray to genitalia and fecal matter. I think my favorite may be “Andy Gray is a big, sweaty, winnet pickin, haggis munchin scottish (sex toy).” Feel free to look up what winnet means. I’m not going to explain it here.

There are a couple of groups simply named “I Hate Andy Gray.” I’m assuming — hoping — they’re about the commentator. I haven’t tried to join. If they’re about me, I at least can take solace in the fact they each have only one member. “I think Andy Gray is a complete and utter idiot” also has one lone hater.

There is a private Facebook group called “Andy Gray is a Living Legend.” I can pretend that one’s about me, but it only has six members, so it’s not particularly ego inflating.

From what I’ve read about other Andy Gray, I’d probably agree with many of these groups’ members. He got fired from his commentating gig for sexist remarks, and he sounds like a bit of a jerk.

Of course, that means he has his fans too.

There’s “BRING BACK ANDY GRAY!!! FOOTBALL IS A MAN’S GAME!!!,” “Andy Gray was just being a LAD and got FIRED! What’s this world coming to?” and “Andy Gray — Just saying what everyone was thinking.”

It all makes me glad I don’t live there, and it makes me sympathize with anyone saddled with the name of someone famous … or infamous.

I’ve never met a Dahmer, but I’m sure they’re tired of cannibal jokes. Imagine being named Michael Jackson and every day hearing someone tell you to “beat it” or painfully try to recreate the King of Pop’s “hee hee” falsetto and think they’re the first person to ever do that.

I don’t have any plans to travel to Scotland, but I’m using a pseudonym if I do.

• Andy Gray is the entertainment editor of Ticket. Write to him at agray@tribtoday.com.