In the South, grief comes with a casserole. Before the obituary hits the paper or the flowers are even ordered, someone’s already brought over deviled eggs.

There’s a pound cake on the counter, a baked ham from a neighbor who “just thought y’all might need something,” and if fried chicken hasn’t shown up yet, give it a minute — it’s coming.

This familiar scene is part of a long-standing tradition, where food is often the first way people know how to help. It’s not fancy or planned. It’s just what folks do.

A CUSTOM OLDER THAN FUNERAL HOMES

Before funeral homes became the setting for visitations and memorials, families grieved at home. Folks held wakes in the living room, and the community stepped in to handle what needed to be done, including making sure there was food on the table.

Certain dishes became closely tied to those moments: fried chicken, mac and cheese, field peas, green beans, banana pudding and pound cake. They weren’t chosen for presentation but for practicality. These meals could survive the drive, sit out for hours and offer comfort when everything else felt uncertain.

The Southern funeral food tradition has roots that stretch back generations to a time when rural communities relied heavily on one another. When someone passed away, the practical concerns were immediate. Families needed to feed not only themselves but often out-of-town relatives arriving with little notice. Neighbors would arrive bearing whatever they had on hand, like fresh vegetables from the garden or buttermilk biscuits hot from the oven.

FOOD AS THE LANGUAGE OF GRIEF

In the South, food often speaks when people don’t know what to say. It’s an immediate response, comforting and practical. Usually coordinated through church phone trees or neighborhood group texts, the meals arrive before most formal arrangements are made.

Unspoken guidelines shape what’s brought: dishes should be easy to reheat or serve cold, packed in containers that don’t need to be returned and easy to pop in the freezer for later. Bringing food means you don’t have to ask, “What can I do?” You just show up with something nourishing, and that small act speaks louder than words.

BEYOND FRIED CHICKEN: THE FUNERAL FOOD HIERARCHY

Fried chicken might be the classic go-to, but it’s just one piece of a deeply rooted, regionally shaped tradition. Different areas of the South have different cultures and customs that dictate what is considered comfort food.

Casseroles are a cornerstone of funeral meals, offering warmth, convenience and plenty of servings.

Poppyseed chicken casserole is a frequent choice, but so are baked spaghetti, lasagna and funeral potatoes, a creamy, cheesy hash brown casserole often topped with cornflakes or crackers.

Country ham and biscuits are common in Virginia and the Carolinas. Families in Louisiana might receive gumbo or jambalaya. And no matter the region, sweets are guaranteed: chocolate sheet cakes, lemon bars and pound cakes all make regular appearances.

Local customs shape the menu. Coastal communities might bring shrimp and grits or seafood stews. In Appalachia, it’s not unusual to find stack cakes or apple butter desserts at a funeral.

They’re Grandma’s recipes — the kind folks have been making forever and still turn to when they don’t know what else to do.