The other day as I was hanging my laundry on the line … What? You didn’t expect a guy to know how to hang clothes? Or to bother? Since my wife passed away in June, I’ve rediscovering lots of skills that many guys won’t admit to knowing. I was fortunate in marriage. Since I don’t ...
EDITOR’S NOTE: This classic column is being republished as humor columnist Burt Cole is on vacation. “Aren’t those the same pants you wore yesterday?” “Of course,” I said. “The pockets were already loaded.” His eyebrows arched. “With what?” “Keys, pens, cards, coins, memory stick, phone — everything in its pocketed place and ready to go.” I don’t need trendy trousers. I wear a walking filing cabinet cinched by a belt. The joke for years was that women carried bottomless purses, like Mary Poppins’ carpet bag. Me, I dream of boundless ...
EDITOR’S NOTE: Burt ran away from work this work, but he’ll be back soon. Until then, enjoy a classic column originally published in 2019. It’s been decades since I last ran away from home. I was 3. I wriggled through the tunnel my beagle burrowed under the backyard fence and set out ...
My younger cousin Nancy (solidly in her 60s) zapped me a meme that states, “I was always taught to respect my elders, but it keeps getting harder and harder to find one.” Truth. Respect wasn’t earned; it was a page on the calendar. It’s my birthday month (Nancy’s, too), and now ...
As a card-carrying farm kid — well, I would carry the card if I hadn’t lost in the pasture during “the incident” — I’ve been asked to drive a tractor this fall at an area corn maze. (No, we do NOT need to talk about the pasture incident. I don’t remember screaming like a little ...
Oh, here’s one: What does a cloud wear under his raincoat? Thunderwear! What do you call a dog magician? A labracadabrador, of course. What’s worse than finding a worm in the apple you’re eating? Finding half a worm. I don’t know if those jokes are enough to kick Ohio a ...
