Knock, knock. Who’s there? National Tell a Joke Day
Oh, here’s one: What does a cloud wear under his raincoat?
What do you call a dog magician?
A labracadabrador, of course.
What’s worse than finding a worm in the apple you’re eating?
Finding half a worm.
I don’t know if those jokes are enough to kick Ohio a rung or two up the ladder, but we’re still in the Top 10 of biggest jokers in America.
That’s according to a notice I received last week from Gambling.com Group titled “Which States Are The Biggest Jokers?” The article also noted that Wednesday was National Tell a Joke Day.
So I’m four days late with this, but what did the Dalmatian say after lunch?
“That hit the spot.”
Or why did the kid cross the playground?
To get to the other slide.
According to Peter Welch, digital PR manager at Gambling.com, the research team at the group decided to determine which states are the biggest jokers in American. Researchers analyzed four data points: a Google search for comedy / joke-related terms; comedy clubs; comedy acts for hire; and comedy meetup groups — all on a per capita basis.
Ohio finished No. 9 — I kid you not — with a Final Joker Score of 62.2 out of 100.
The top three states were Nevada, 85.8; New York, 79.8; and California, 79.2.
Next-door neighbor Pennsylvania finished 18th with a yuk-yuk score of 55.4.
The three states most lacking laughs were Montana, 14.5; North Dakota, 15.6; and Wyoming, 16.1.
There’s a great big joke just waiting to happen about certain states being great big jokes, but I’m not going to make it. I don’t want to be sued by chambers of commerce, tourism boards or Punsters Anonymous for an errant sense of humor. Some of these places take their silliness seriously — or their seriousness to silly extremes.
Feel free to make up your own wisecracks in the privacy of your own home. No one will know. Unless you planted a garden — the corn has ears, the potatoes have eyes and the beans stalk.
Have we moved up any notches yet? No?
Well, how about what do you call a fly with no wings?
What did Zero say to Eight?
Why do sharks swim in saltwater?
Because pepper water makes them sneeze.
I hope you had a happy National Tell a Joke Day, Ohio. And remember, lots of serious studies demonstrate that laughter really is good medicine, enhancing physical and mental health and social well-being. And the Bible tells us: “A merry heart does good like a medicine: but a broken spirit dries the bones.” (Proverbs 17:22)
So to keep your bones from drying out — and in hopes of improving our Final Joker Score on the survey — I ask you, What is the difference between elephants and grapes?
Grapes are purple.
What did Tarzan say when he saw the elephants coming?
“Here come the elephants!”
What did Jane say when she saw the elephants coming?
“Here come the grapes!” Jane was colorblind.
Any day is joke day for Cole. Send him yours at firstname.lastname@example.org or the Burton W. Cole page on Facebook. Find more on the state joker rankings at https://www.gambling.com/us/news/which-states-are-the-