Na-na na-na na-na, age changes perspective

June 4, 2023

Aging changes one’s perspectives — including one’s perspective on when, exactly, old age begins. I’ll let you know when I find out. It’s not yet. Sure, there’s a glitch in my hip, a creak in my knees and a blinding lightening of my hair. Yes, we are required to file for a permit from the fire department before lighting the candles on my birthday cake. But old age isn’t yet. That’s not what I used to think. I was outraged in August 1977 when a disc jockey lamented on air that Elvis died so young. “What does he mean ‘young’? The man was FORTY-TWO years old,” ...

More memes mean less work to undertake

May 28, 2023

I was supposed to be mowing the lawn or paying bills or fixing the dryer or something boring like that. Instead, I flopped into my easy chair and scrolled through my phone to research the latest memes. For my job, of course. One of the memes I saw went something like this: “I’m fairly ...

A basket full of sudsy quotes to fold on laundry day

May 21, 2023

My boxer shorts went on public display. “They did not,” my wife retorted. “It’s called a clothesline.” Oh, yeah, what I meant to say is that Terry uses advanced solar and wind technology to dry our laundry. Terry is a big proponent of finding environmentally conscious solutions to ...

All that glitters isn’t specially groomed whiskers

May 14, 2023

“Your beard looks so amazing,” one of the ladies at our table cooed. I flushed a little under my whiskers. “Thank y…” “It sparkles.” She turned to her companion. “Doesn’t it sparkle?” The second lady leaned in, chewed her lip, and nodded. “Yes. Yes, it does.” She ...

Playgrounds were real testing ground before safety was invented

May 7, 2023

The summit of the gleaming playground slide towered above me. The only reason I kept clomping up the 3,000 steps to the peak was the shouts and jeers of the crush of fellow kindergartners pushing me upward even as I wriggled for an escape. About a half-mile up, I stammered, “I... I changed ...

There’s no way to repair a lie as ridiculous as this DIY tale

April 30, 2023

I’d never heard such an outrageous lie. I was ashamed to be related to the man who told it to me. “JH,” as I’ll call him here, expected us to believe that he completed a repair project on his vehicle WITHOUT A SINGLE SNAG. Yeah, right. No man in the history of time ever finished a ...