Rumor has it that I’ve retired. Nope, not true. I never finished being tired the first time around, so how can I be tired again? You know, re-tired. Or maybe those rumor-mongers believe I bought new sneakers — tires for my feet. C’mon, have you ever known me to spend money? Besides on ...

As far as advice goes, it wasn’t all that encouraging. The article was titled “Top 15 Things That Can Make Men Seem ‘Old’ To Women.” It was posted on a website called ’80s Kids — which made me feel ancient before I even got to the article. Uncle Sam considered me a legal adult ...

EDITOR’S NOTE: Burt is off this week but enjoy this Classic Cole from 2014. I don’t forget things because I’m old. I forget because I know too much. You young pups thought we old fogeys slipped a gear or three. Nope. The brains of us, uh, experienced types must sift through tons more ...

According the great philosopher Anonymous, “Home is where the heart is — even if you can’t remember which box you packed it in.” I’ve been packing boxes and slowly losing my checkbook, keys, underwear and my mind. They’re all in there somewhere — except maybe my mind — and in ...

I’ve been feeling philosophical. As my mentor, Winnie-the-Pooh can attest, it’s an easy trap to trip into. Even a Bear of Very Little Brain can ponder. All that’s required is a comfy chair or a railing to lean upon while the fluff between your ears floats freely about the ...

This is it — 2024 is the year that I’m going to drop to a muscular 180 pounds, run a marathon and find the cure for the common cold. I’d also like to buy a Corvette and win $1 million, but I’d better not add those to the list. I don’t want to turn into one of those annoying ...