This is the time of year when people get concerned about how much they’ve been feasting the last month — Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Year’s, Tuesday, etc. We’ve been packing it in and packing it on.

Do not panic!

There is no need to sign up for a gym membership. You weren’t going to go anyway.

Nor is there any need to do something insane, like go on a diet. It’ll just make everyone around you miserable, because they’ll have to put up with your grouchiness.

Let me remind you, it’s January. Winter. And adding a few pounds of protection simply is nature’s way of prepping us to endure the cold.

Take, for example, the walrus. He’s a big ol’ guy with whiskers — like me.

The walrus survives the winter cold with a thick layer of fat under his skin. This blubber can be up to six inches thick and can be a full third of the critter’s body mass in the winter. Walruses do this by gobbling huge amounts of shrimp and clams.

Remember how you decimated those trays of shrimp at the Christmas and New Year’s parties? You weren’t disgusting, as your spouse claims. You were doing the natural thing — inducing necessary blubber.

Walruses also eat sea slugs, worms, snails, sea cucumbers and octopuses. This part of the plan doesn’t thrill me as much. I’d recommend sticking with the shrimp.

There’s a very good reason that walruses snack on slugs, worms and snails — there aren’t a lot of Subways or Sheetzes in the Arctic, otherwise walruses would eat meatball sandwiches and Oreo cookies, I’m sure of it. It’s how I prefer to build my blubber.

Bears wisely choose to curl up and sleep away winter. But first, they prepare with hyperphagia, which is a ten-dollar word that means they eat like eating’s going out of style — because for them, it will all winter long.

Bears pack away up to 20,000 calories a day to build up their fat reserves.

The nature shows tell us that bears dine big time on nuts, berries, fruits, roots, grass, bugs, fish and carrion before their long winter’s nap. This is because bears don’t have cars. They can’t motor up to the McDonald’s drive-through for a burger, fries and a shake. And most grocery stores also have some sort of policy that prohibits bears from roaming the aisles to fill a cart with pizzas or stuffing and gravy.

Man and beast do not prepare for winter by breadsticks and soft pretzels alone.

Have you noticed how shaggy cows become in November and December? Deer, mountain goats, beavers, otters…even cats and dogs let their hair down for winter. Nature has decreed that critters that need to survive cold winter months must avoid barbers, groomers and stylists.

This explains why I tend to look, to be polite, unkempt. It’s because I’m doing what nature intended. It’s been months since I’ve been to the groomers. I’m preparing for winter.

Another thing our wise animal friends do is line nests and dens with warm materials, like grass, pine needles and fur. This is because they do not have Amazon accounts. They cannot order flannel bathrobes, fleece covers and weighted wool blankets.

So please, let’s obey the very laws of nature by burrowing into easy chairs or couch nests in fuzzy pajamas with a few packs of cookies and bowls of ice cream to refresh our blubber as needed, and we’ll hibernate until April.

Don’t worry about the boss objecting. I believe he or she has seen enough nature shows to know better than to wander into the cave of a hibernating bear. Especially if he tries to steal your Oreos.

Curl up with Mr. Fuzzy Blubber burton.w.cole@gmail.com or on the Burton W. Cole page on Facebook. Watch out for the cookie crumbs.