My life is a series of lists. I used to remember things. Now I write lists. My pants and shirt pockets are stuffed with assorted scraps of paper-bearing lists — none of them the ones that I need at the time. Magnets hold several lists on the refrigerator, including the shopping list. But I ...

“There was a time,” I said, “when Google wasn’t my constant companion. No, seriously.” The kid’s face scrunched in perplexity. He almost looked up from his screen. “How did you do your homework? Where could you scroll for answers?” “Not scroll. Stroll,” I said. “I ...

Rumor has it that I’ve retired. Nope, not true. I never finished being tired the first time around, so how can I be tired again? You know, re-tired. Or maybe those rumor-mongers believe I bought new sneakers — tires for my feet. C’mon, have you ever known me to spend money? Besides on ...

As far as advice goes, it wasn’t all that encouraging. The article was titled “Top 15 Things That Can Make Men Seem ‘Old’ To Women.” It was posted on a website called ’80s Kids — which made me feel ancient before I even got to the article. Uncle Sam considered me a legal adult ...

EDITOR’S NOTE: Burt is off this week but enjoy this Classic Cole from 2014. I don’t forget things because I’m old. I forget because I know too much. You young pups thought we old fogeys slipped a gear or three. Nope. The brains of us, uh, experienced types must sift through tons more ...

According the great philosopher Anonymous, “Home is where the heart is — even if you can’t remember which box you packed it in.” I’ve been packing boxes and slowly losing my checkbook, keys, underwear and my mind. They’re all in there somewhere — except maybe my mind — and in ...