Breaking News

Burton Cole

Company is coming! Let’s get to ridding!

I stacked tonight’s dirty dishes on top of last night’s still littering the sink. My kicked my balled-up coat further into the corner against the closet door — the coat closet door. I haven’t coaxed the vacuum cleaner to life since… let’s not get into that. I don’t know if my calendar stretches back that far. As I survey my apartment, I know that it’s time. Action must be taken. It’s time. I’m going to invite company over. I don’t know what it’s like where you live, but “Company’s coming!” was the battle cry that always preceded “ridding up” places ...

Snow days sure aren’t what they used to be

Snow and ice shut down roads, county offices and Taco Bell. The dire predictions of snow and ice piled up much higher than the actual snow and ice, but still, it was sufficient to keep us tucked away in our homes. I used to dream about days like this when I was a kid. Growing up in the ...

Wise sayings for the new year

With age comes wisdom. That’s the rumor, anyway. I, for one, have never been this old, therefore, I have never been so full of wisdom as I am full of it now. Or full of something. Chocolate chip cookies, most likely. To quote the great philosopher Robert Paul, “I’m a little bit older, ...

The new math left me cold

Remember the Cold War? It raged between the U.S. and the U.S.S.R. when I was but a kidling, but already was thawing. No longer did kids have to drill ducking beneath school desks in case of a nuclear strike. That’s right, at one time school desks were considered armor. The grownups ...

For best cookies, skip the baking; eat the dough

I need to apologize. I’ve been baking Christmas cookies. That’s a horrible thing to do, I know. Most cookies are ruined by baking. It’s the dough that’s money. I doubt that a more perfect food has ever been created. I suspect that it might even be what the Bible referred to as manna, that life-sustaining food sent directly from Heaven with the morning dew. Before I married Terry, I often would stir up a batch of chocolate chip cookie dough in my yellow mixing bowl with a big ol’, well-seasoned wooden spoon. (Chef’s note: Neither the color of the bowl nor the texture ...

It’s the most wonderful time of year — in my blanket fort

It’s the most wonderful, er, stressful time of the year. OK, maybe those final few hours before April 15 tax deadline when you can’t remember where you tucked your W-2 so you wouldn’t lose it is more stressful, but the Christmas season is a more sustained stress. That’s why I’m hiding in my blanket fort until roughly Jan. 12. I believe the stress begins in earnest on Black Friday. That’s the day millions of shoppers all converge on the very parking space you are trying to pull into. And that’s just at the convenience store for coffee. Things don’t get crazy until ...