DEAR EDITOR:

The day after Donald Trump won the Electoral College in 2016, I woke up stunned and discouraged in a hotel room in Buffalo, N.Y., where I had traveled for work. Later that evening I had dinner at a crowded restaurant bar nearby. I struck up a conversation with those around me, seeking to understand what others thought of the election results.

What transpired was a two-hour discussion among a disparate group of people who did not know one another. They included two middle-aged engineers from out of town, a local couple in their 20s with children, a young-ish single dad, and a woman attending night school. They were multiracial. Some voted for Trump; some voted for Hillary Clinton; some voted for Clinton, despite preferring Bernie Sanders; one had not cast a vote.

The conversation was spirited, but amicable. It was the most impactful dialogue with a group of strangers that I have ever had. Although I don’t recall some of the details, what I do remember was that I left that evening with a better understanding of people who thought differently than I, and came away with a glimmer of hope for the future.

Over the past four years, it has become increasingly difficult to have such conversations. This past summer, I’ve had a few deliberations with friends who hold differing convictions. One friend jokingly sets his timer so that our talks leave plenty of time for lighter topics.

Although we may not change one another’s minds, we listen to and civilly challenge one another. We are left with food for thought, our friendships firmly intact. Sadly, those exchanges are rare. More often than not there is a taboo that looms heavy among friends and family that cause us to gingerly evade any mention of personal beliefs or politics as if sidestepping land mines. This makes us increasingly gravitate toward only those who think precisely as we do, cementing the polarization that has enveloped this country.

Our relationships and respect for one another should be strong enough to withstand the dissimilarities. If we can talk more openly about why our views are different, we may also discover that we have more in common than we think.

JO ANNE OFFILL

Canfield