DEAR ANNIE: My neighbor has taken “borrowing a cup of sugar” to ridiculous levels. In the past six months, she’s borrowed my ladder, my hedge clippers, two baking pans and, most recently, my patio chairs for her daughter’s graduation party. She always promises to return things “tomorrow,” but I usually have to go ask, and sometimes they come back a little worse for wear.

She’s perfectly pleasant, and we have to live next to each other, but I’m starting to feel like the neighborhood rental shop. How do I put a stop to this without seeming totally unreasonable and rude?

• Tired of Lending

DEAR TIRED OF LENDING: Generosity is a virtue, but it sounds like she’s taking advantage of it.

The next time she borrows something, be cheerful but specific: “I’ll need it back by Sunday at 5.” A clear return time prevents awkward chasing later.

If she keeps missing the deadline, it’s perfectly fair to say, “I’ve decided to keep my things at home from now on. I’ve had trouble keeping track.”

If you care about maintaining your “perfectly pleasant” relationship, it’s best to avoid silent irritation.

DEAR ANNIE: My mother spent the last years of her life as a dementia patient in a nursing home. Although she was nonverbal, she clearly enjoyed looking at holiday cards and photographs and often kept them on her lap.

Annie, do you know how many Christmas cards she received last year? Four. And one was from an organization that sends cards to nursing home residents. A few months have passed since the holidays, but I am still picturing her face lighting up as she looked at them.

Please remind your readers that sending physical cards is still important! For many people, text messages and e-cards cannot replace a card that can be held in the hands. And although the recipient may not remember the sender’s name, the affection and thoughtfulness that the card represents is important not only to the recipient, but also to her nearest relatives and caregivers. Please remind your readers that people need to know that they have not been forgotten.

• Bereaved Daughter

DEAR BEREAVED DAUGHTER: What a powerful reminder that what may feel small to us can feel enormous to someone else. A physical card can bring warmth no screen can match.

Let this be a nudge to us all: Next time you feel too busy to send a card — holidays or not — remember how much it can mean to someone on the other end.

“Out of Bounds: Estrangement, Boundaries and the Search for Forgiveness” is out now! Annie Lane’s third anthology is for anyone who has lived with anger, estrangement or the deep ache of being wronged — because forgiveness isn’t for them. It’s for you. Visit http://www.creatorspublishing.com for more information. Follow Annie Lane on Instagram at @dearannieofficial. Send your questions for Annie Lane to dearannie@creators.com.