DEAR ANNIE: Lately, it feels like I am failing at everything, even though I am constantly running. I work full time, try to be present for my family and friends, and still keep up with all the texts, emails and group chats. I’m the one people come to for help and advice, yet my own life feels like it’s held together with coffee and to-do lists on crumpled sticky notes.

No matter how much I do, there is always something I’ve dropped. I’ve forgotten close friends’ birthdays, missed my mom’s call three days in a row and RSVP’d “maybe” to so many invitations that people have stopped asking. The laundry piles up, the dishes sit in the sink, and I’m answering work emails at my kid’s practice while pretending to watch.

When I finally sit down at night to watch a show or scroll my phone, I feel guilty for resting. If I say no to an invitation, I worry I’m a bad friend. If I stay late at work, I feel like a bad partner and parent. If I leave on time, I feel like a bad employee. I go to bed exhausted and still feel like I did not do enough.

Everyone around me seems just as busy, but they all act as if they’re handling it better than I am. I miss feeling joyful and present instead of rushed, scattered and behind at everything.

How do I set boundaries and give myself a break without disappointing everyone around me, including myself?

• Running on Empty

DEAR RUNNING: You are not failing at doing anything. You are trying to do the jobs of three people in one tired body. There is no wonder you are so exhausted.

Right now, your “job” description looks something like this: perfect employee, perfect partner, perfect parent, perfect friend, plus part-time mind reader and cruise director. That is not a recipe for a balanced, happy life. That is a recipe for severe burnout. The first boundary you need to set is with your own expectations. No one can do everything and do it well all at once, so you can’t expect yourself to be any different.

Start changing your mindset with small and specific tasks. Choose your real priorities for this season of life — maybe your health, your kids and one or two key relationships. Let late replies, dusty shelves and optional invitations slide without a guilt trip. A simple “I wish I could, but I’m maxed out right now” is a complete sentence and a valid reason.

And please remember that rest is not something you earn by doing enough. It is a basic requirement, like food and air. Not only do you deserve it — you need it.

“Out of Bounds: Estrangement, Boundaries and the Search for Forgiveness” is out now! Annie Lane’s third anthology is for anyone who has lived with anger, estrangement or the deep ache of being wronged — because forgiveness isn’t for them. It’s for you. Visit http://www.creatorspublishing.com for more information. Follow Annie Lane on Instagram at @dearannieofficial. Send your questions for Annie Lane to dearannie@creators.com.