Ah, June. School’s out, picnics are in and it’s Turkey Lovers Month. What could be better? Unless you’re a turkey and the lovers turn out to love a good turkey sandwich.

Roll out those crazy, hazy, zany days of summer.

Besides turkeys, June also marks Fight the Filthy Fly Month and Potty Training Awareness Month.

It’s also World Naked Bike Ride Month, but just in the Northern Hemisphere.

Yeah, I don’t think my naked southern hemisphere would appreciate bicycle seats I have known.

June also boasts Carpenter Ant Awareness Week (I believe it’s when you house falls down around you), the International Snowmobile Conference (because July was booked), Zoot Suit Week (we really need to clean out our closets) and Meet A Mate Week (I’m guessing not on a bike ride).

It makes me want to run away and hide to celebrate National Hermit Week, which begins June 13.

I thought the song lyric said something about those LAZY days of summer, not ZANY. But zany is what we have.

We’ve already missed National Bubba Day (June 2), Moonshine Day and Old Maid’s Day (both June 4).

Here’s some of what else is rolling out during these crazy, hazy days of June:

June 6 — Yo-Yo Day. Not you, the toy, you yo-yo. It’s also Turtle Races Day, which fits the theme of hazy, lazy days of summer. Unless a rabbit’s involved.

June 7 — Chocolate Ice Cream Day

June 8 — Name Your Poison Day (See above. I’ll have that. With chocolate syrup.)

June 11 — National Children’s Day. (When I asked Mom on Mother’s Day when it would be Kid’s Day, she said that’s every day. The calendar people finally narrowed it down.)

June 13 — Pigeon Appreciation Day. (“Birdy, birdy in the sky, Why’d you do that in my eye? I’m sure glad that elephants can’t fly.”) It’s also National Kitchen Klutzes of America Day. Those pigeons better watch out. A klutz might be reaching for the chicken, and…

June 14 — International Bath Day. Doesn’t seem like just yesterday, or just last week/month, that you took a bath?

June 17 — It’s both Eat Your Vegetables Day and Global Garbage Man Day. Coincidence? I think not.

June 18 — It’s another double-header: International Panic Day and International Picnic Day. What a difference a couple of letters can make. Picnics often do pack an element of panic, especially when it’s time to leave the house and you discover that the dog’s chomped half the potato salad and all of the peanut butter pie.

June 19 — National Kissing Day. Exercise with caution: You’ll get punched right in the kisser if you celebrate with the wrong person.

June 20 — Hollerin’ Contest Day. Probably because she’s still upset about that kissing thing.

June 21 — National Nude in Nature Day. Watch out for the poison ivy.

June 23 — Let It Go Day. Look, I’m sorry about puckering up, OK? Let it go.

June 25 — Global Belly Button Day. It’s also Handshake Day. But it is NOT Show Me Your Belly Button Lint Collection Day. There is no such day. I hope.

June 26 — National Food Truck Day and Take Your Dog to Work Day. You might need to leave Rover at home if you work in a food truck. The temptation could be too much, even if he is a good boy. But if you must bring Fido, remember that it’s also Forgiveness Day.

June 27 — Decide to be Married Day, National Onion Day and National Sunglasses Day. I’m not clear on whether we’re wearing the sunglasses to cover the fact that we’ve been crying while cutting onions or if we’re trying to hide from that special someone who has decided to be married to us.

June 29 — International Mud Day and Please Take My Children to Work Day. I see the correlation. The kids have been sitting in mud puddles making pies and now they want to slosh into the house like the Swamp Thing. That’s when you yell out to anyone passing by, “Please take my kids to work with you! Please!”

June 30 — National Meteor Watch Day, which is of special interest to dinosaurs.

Here’s wishing you hazy, crazy, lazy days of summer full of daisies and glazies (oh yeah, today is Doughnut Day!)

Book a June date with Cole at burton.w.cole@gmail.com.