Glance out the window to see what the weather’s doing. Good.

Now peek again. Sure, it’s only been a few seconds, but that’s long enough for northeast Ohio to throw us another curve ball.

The temperature may have changed by 20 or 30 degrees. If it was sunny, now it’s raining. Or snowing.

And, of course, that’s brought on coughs, sniffles and sneezes.

Even worse, a swarm of unlicensed doctors now are buzzing about you with their cures for the common cold. From snail slime to lizard soup, there’s nothing like a sure-fire cure to wipe out a minor irritation with a major headache.

This is why medical professionals recommend that you stay home when you’re sick.

It’s not to protect others from whatever bugs you. It’s to protect YOU from getting bugged by a batch of home remedies and internet myths as prescribed by Dr. Google.

Their cures could add two to three weeks to your suffering.

One such fun little recommended remedy is snail slime.

According to IFLScience and other sources, snail-based syrups and pastes have been used at least since the 1800s — and STILL are used in France in cough medicines. Supposedly, the icky gunk left behind by palm-sized slimers known as Roman or Burgundy snails reduces coughing.

However, the research to back up this claim is slim, and I’m not volunteering.

What I did lie still for was when my wife slathered the bottoms of my feet with Vicks VapoRub. Weird or not, I wasn’t going to turn down a foot massage.

It turns out that, as happened far too often, Terry was right. The UVA Health system reports that the bottoms of the feet have bigger pores to better absorb the vapo slime that reduces congestion and coughing.

Less helpful, the doctors at UVA said, is the old remedy of putting garlic, onions or potatoes in your socks. The docs with actual medical degrees say you gotta eat your veggies if you expect the antioxidants in them to do a body any good. Plus, it makes walking a whole lot easier.

Or drop a few in your lizard soup. The “simple recipe calls for dried lizards, yams and Chinese dates simmered in water,” according to HealthLine. It’s the Hong Kong equivalent of chicken noodle soup.

But does it help?

Yes, say the docs: Hot soup in a water-based broth, whether chicken or lizard, “helps replace fluids lost from sweating, blowing your nose and coughing,” as well as loosening congestion.

Plus, I’m sure someone will tell you that lizard tastes “just like chicken.” It won’t be me.

Less helpful is the “dirty socks” remedy. This involves greasing one’s throat with chicken fat or lard, then covering it all with dirty socks.

How it came about as a remedy is unclear. A practical joke perpetuated by a big brother is my guess.

Plus, if you see someone wrapped in dirty socks walking your way, you’ll definitely be crossing the street and avoiding his germs.

Then there’s the Russian drink gogol mogul, a whisking together of an egg yolk with a teaspoon of honey or sugar in a half-cup of heated milk and a tablespoon of unsalted butter. And sometimes with rum mixed in.

The health experts say that the egg may work on scratchy throats and the hot milk may help one sleep. The rum, I suspect, may help you not care.

Don’t drink? We also have pickled plums, turnips and a poultice made of sheep or cattle tallow wrapped in flannel, warmed and placed on the chest.

Or, I suppose as a last resort, you could have gotten your flu shot last fall. But I’m sure what you have is nothing that a little snail slime and lizard soup can’t cure.

If you survive the cures, or pranks, send your remedies to Cole at burton.w.cole@gmail.com or the Burton W. Cole page on Facebook.