I heard the phrase “hidden wisdom” the other day and thought, “Hey, that’s me!”

I am chock full of wisdom. I have so much wisdom that it’s rolling out of my ears. But my wisdom is hidden. It must be. Nobody can see it.

“Cole, if you had a brain, you’d be dangerous,” is one of the nicer things people say to me when I proclaim something profound.

Yeah, well… well… Oooh, I’m sure I’ll think of something smart to say as a retort.

Because I have hidden away tons of wisdom.

While I’m thinking, let me share a few of these genius nuggets I’ve collected over the years:

• Wisdom comes from experience. Experience comes from lack of wisdom. The circle is complete — and probably is a square.

• An apple a day keeps anyone away if you throw it hard enough.

• If you take a social media sabbatical, don’t announce it. Just make your last post something like, “I wonder if there’s a bear in this cave.”

• Anything with raisins in it would be 10 times better with chocolate chips. For example, oatmeal raisin cookies. Even better example, a box of raisins.

• Things we never said in the 1960s: Google it.

• Don’t let anyone who hasn’t been in your shoes tell you how to tie your shoelaces.

• I didn’t lose my motivation. It’s sitting right there on the couch next to my ambition, and we all agree that today is not the day.

• Things we never said in the 1960s: I lost my phone.

• I’ve been feeling moody and run down lately, so I looked up my symptoms. It’s adulthood. I’m suffering from a case of adulthood.

• If you can’t beat your computer at chess, take up kickboxing.

• I’m at a point where I don’t even know the point I’m at, but I am at a point.

• It’s weird how some days, I feel reasonably healthy, and other days, I feel like a busted can of biscuits.

• What a year this week has been.

• Things that were never said in the 1960s: I ordered groceries through the app.

• Never put both feet in your mouth. You won’t have a leg to stand on.

• Dear Santa, If you’d just give me a chance to explain…

• When everything is coming your way, pull over. You’re driving in the wrong lane.

• Sometimes I wondered what happened to the people who asked me for directions.

• People always tell introverts to be more talkative and leave their comfort zones, yet no one tells extroverts to shut up to make the zone comfortable.

• Things we never said in the 1960s: Remember to put on your bicycle helmet and elbow pads.

• You never realize how weird you are until you have a kid who acts just like you.

• Kids today are soft. I’m pretty sure I died once when I was 7 and my mom made me walk it off.

• If you’re ever feeling sad, just go for a run. Then you’ll realize that your physical health is way worse than your mental health.

• Things we never said in the 1960s: What’s the WiFi password?

• I would be a morning person if morning happened around 1 p.m.

• You know you’re a bad driver when Siri says, “In 400 feet, stop and let me out.”

• Even if you have pains, you don’t need to be one.

• Sometimes, I just want someone to hug me and say, “I know it’s hard, but you’ll be OK.

Here’s some chocolate and $10 million.”

• The older I get, the more I understand why roosters scream to start their day.

• Things we never said in the 1960s: I need to go to the charging station to plug in my car.

• Don’t ever tell God what you’ll never do. He will have you nevering like you’ve never ever nevered before.

Not all my wisdom is hidden now. So there!

Heap your wisdom upon the old geezer at burton.w.cole@gmail.com or the Burton W. Cole page on Facebook.