Whenever life has me stumped and I don’t know what to do next, I sit back and ponder, “What would HE do?”

He, of course, refers to that bear whose head is stuffed with fluff, Winnie-the-Pooh.

Pooh Bear himself once said, “When you are a Bear of Very Little Brain, and you Think of Things, you find sometimes that a Thing which seemed very Thingish inside you is quite different when it gets out into the open and other people are looking at it.”

Generally, I doze off in the middle of contemplating that bit of wisdom, and by the time I stir awake, things don’t look quite as stumpish anymore.

Which reminds of another pearl of Pooh: “People say nothing is impossible, but I do nothing every day.”

The more you think on that, the more brilliant it becomes.

That’s the thing about wise sayings — they often sound silly when first uttered.

“Is your head stuffed with fluff?” a friend might ask when you impart this knowledge.

“Yes, thank you,” is the correct response. Or possibly, “May I be excused? My brain is full.”

So, please allow me to stuff that stuffing where our brains should be with more silliness that you might just find has a puff of wisdom sewn in.

• “I would agree with you, but then we’d both be wrong.”

• “Everyone has the right to be stupid once in a while, but some people abuse that privilege.”

• “I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me.” (Noel Coward)

• “If the person you are talking to doesn’t appear to be listening, be patient. It may simply be that he has a small piece of fluff in his ear.” (Winnie-the-Pooh/A.A. Milne)

• I always say “morning” instead of “good morning.” If it were a good morning, I’d still be sleeping and not talking to people.

• Whatever you’re doing, always give 100%. Unless you’re donating blood.

• No, you’re not adopted. But we’ve placed an ad.

• “Don’t worry about avoiding temptation. As you grow older, it will avoid you.” (Joey Adams)

• I had my patience tested. I’m negative.

• Run like the winded.

• “No man goes before his time — unless the boss leaves early.” (Groucho Marx)

• I made my to-do list for today. Now I gotta find out who’s going to do it.

• An apple a day keeps anyone away if you throw it hard enough.

• “You know you’ve reached middle age when you’re cautioned to slow down by your doctor, instead of by the police.” (Joan Rivers)

• Life is like a bowl of soup — and I’m a fork.

• Your name’s not Google. Stop acting like you know everything.

• I’m not weird. I’m a limited edition.

• Whatever is eating you must be really hungry.

• “You can always tell when a man’s well informed. His views are pretty much like your own.” (H. Jackson Brown Jr.)

• If he ever got a good idea, it would die of loneliness.

• When I ask for directions, please don’t use confusing words like “north” and “west.”

• “When I was younger I could remember anything, whether it had happened or not; but my faculties are decaying now and soon I shall be so I cannot remember any but the things that never happened.” (Mark Twain)

• If you can’t laugh at yourself, I can help you out.

• “Most of us don’t need a psychiatric therapist as much as a friend to be silly with.” (Robert Brault)

• “Silly Old Bear.” (Christopher Robin/A.A. Milne)

Add your insults and silly sayings at burton.w.cole@gmail.com or on the Burton W. Cole page on Facebook.