Why is it that no matter where I stood in the kitchen, that I was without fail right in front of the drawer Terry needed to open? Is that what marriage is about?

I’ve been wondering about that and other great conundrums of life.

Why? Because all that is required to be in a philosophical mood is to lounge in an easy chair and think. The thinking part is optional.

It’s a wonderful activity needing no more physical exertion than the occasional stroll to the kitchen for more chocolate chip cookies.

You, too, can ponder the great mysteries of life. Grab some cookies and a pillow. Don’t know where to start?

Here are some suggestions:

• If I write a song about a tortilla, would that be a wrap or a rap?

• If Black Eyed Peas sing songs, do chickpeas only hummus tunes?

• If I donate my body to science, will science take one look and donate it to Goodwill?

• If a grocery store has a section for health food, then what’s in the rest of the store?

• I don’t always carry all my groceries with one arm, but when I do, my keys are in that pocket.

• If a parsley farmer is sued, do they garnish his wages?

• When a door is open, we say it’s ajar, so we don’t we say an open jar is adoor?

• If a stealth bomber crashes in a forest, will it make a sound? Does it depend on whether it lands next to that tree that fell when no one was around?

• What do I do if I spot an endangered animal eating an endangered plant?

• Why do we say something is out of whack? What is a whack? Is it similar to a combob? I know what it means to be discombobulated. So, should I reset my life goals to be whacked and combobbed?

• I’m finally old enough to do anything I want — but now I’m too tired to do it. Now that I can stay out as late as I want, all I want to do is go home and go to bed.

• Do twins realize that one of them is unplanned? Do they argue over which one?

• Every person who died climbing Mount Everest was once a highly motivated person. Staying lazy can save your life.

• When I was a kid, I thought “This little pig went to market” meant that he’d gone shopping.

• My memory is like an Etch-A-Sketch: I shake my head and forget everything.

• My brain logged me out due to inactivity. Now I can’t remember my password.

• It’s not the way I look that reveals my age, it’s my use of complete sentences when I text.

• Do Roman paramedics refer to IVs as 4s?

• Every time you clean something, you make something else dirty. What’s the point?

• Pi Day (3/14) is a fake holiday created by math companies to sell more math.

• Brain cells die. Skin cells die. Hair cells die. But fat cells are forever.

The urge to sing “The Lion Sleeps Tonight” is always a whim away, a whim away, a whim away…

• One way to find out if you’re old is to fall down in front of people. If they laugh, you’re still young. If they panic and start fussing over you, you’re old.

• What do little birdies see when they get knocked unconscious?

• If I jog backward, would I gain weight? For that matter, is that how I can turn back time?

• Wisdom chases after me. So far, I have been faster.

Ugh. All this philosophy has given me a brain cramp. Now comes my favorite part of being philosophical — the nap. Please pass the cookies.

Get philosophical with Burt at burton.w.cole@gmail.com or on the Burton W. Cole page on Facebook.