Breaking News

Patty Kimerer

Ever since that episode of “Sex and the City” in which Carrie Bradshaw made an argument for it, I’ve taken the WIDE liberty of considering myself something of an artist. Hey! I can hear y’all laughing all the way from here. Unnecessarily hurtful. Ahem. As I was saying, the fictional columnist defended herself (and me and all writers, really) as such when unexpectedly faced with her nemesis while trying on clothes at a dress shop. Her ex-boyfriend’s new stylish, 5-foot-10-inch model of a wife emerged from a dressing room looking radiant and flawless, while little 5-foot-2, ...

Christmas contraband coffee creamer coveted

Well, it’s only a matter of days now. Hours, really, if you want to get technical. Soon and very soon, I’m going to burn through my entire supply. The whole stockpile. Poof! And then... life will take a very dark turn for PK, folks. It’ll be a sad, sad day, one lamented until the very moment sometime in (hopefully!) September when they come back. No, I’m not talking about the reindeer. Nor those icky elves that go on shelves (shudder; those things creep me out). I don’t mean the cookies, the carols, the Hallmark movies, the cranberry sauce, the chestnuts or the ...

Pick a resolution and don’t feeling guilty if it’s self-love

You say you need a resolution? Well, you know, it’s true, we all wanna change ... um, lots of stuff, I suppose. Mostly personal, am I right? It is a fact that, just as the earth dwellers have done from cave-critter days through the log cabin phase up to the present flip-this-house day, we take this time at the first part of the first month of a new year, decade and potentially era (hey, this could be another “Roaring ’20s” for all we know), and begin the ritual. Indeed, oaths, vows, declarations, promises and pledges to self are being made throughout the whole of the third ...

Contemplating big issues at end of another decade

There’s nothing like the end of a year — especially one that concludes a decade — to make one reflective. I mean, there’s a reason “Auld Lang Syne” gets played 87 bazillion times annually between Dec. 26 and Jan. 1, capisce? The humans like to take time to think about what’s transpired in the past 365 days as they prepare to step forward into a new batch of ’em. You may or may not be aware that the iconic New Year’s Eve song is based on a 1788 Robert Burns poem. The phrase literally translates to “old long since,” or “days gone by.” Hence the connection ...

Time to put the to-do list aside and honor the season

And now, as always, the annual obligatory homage to “A Visit from St. Nicholas” by Clement Clarke Moore — as told by jolly ol’ PK. ’Twas three nights before Christmas When all through the casa I was losing my grip Like a falling Mufasa. The wedding soup was made, As were the lasagnas. But the still-unwrapped presents Were like circling piranhas. And then there was also The thought of biscotti That I had yet to make; Man, I needed a hot toddy! For the pressure of all That remained on my plate Was causing my head And my stomach to ache. To be ...

Notes to my new mommy self: Chill and enjoy

Exactly 20 years ago today (down to the moment, depending on when you read the paper), I brought home the best early Christmas present I ever will receive: my baby boy. Yep, it was cold and snowy on Dec. 8, 1999. I remember clearly because the chilled air had me wrapping that infant tighter than Ebenezer Scrooge clutches a dollar bill, know what I’m sayin’? Soon, he and I were wheeled out into parking lot of the hospital, where on Dec. 6 (2 1/2 weeks early!), Kyle Kimerer made his big entrance on the third rock ... and his mother nearly made her exit. Yeah, I almost bought the ...