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AUSTINTOWN -- Karen Lewis has spent a career caring for people in all stages of life. This culminated in helping those who are grieving the loss of loved
ones.
Lewis was born in Youngstown right before the legendary snowstorm of November 1950. She grew up on Lexington Avenue on the North Side. Her great-grandparents ran the city's first black-owned bakery, and eventually the building became her home.
While attending The Rayen School, she got a job at Towel Supply on North Avenue and stayed "not even a month." Learning she didn't want to work in a hot factory, upon graduation in 1968 she worked for 18 months in nursing homes. Then at the Clarence Robinson Center on the South Side, she became a day care assistant.
"I was going to be a teacher until I started working at a preschool and I loved it," Lewis said.
The experience wasn't entirely new.
"I babysat when I was only 12. I would take the kids across the street to Evans Field, and we'd all play in the sandbox and ride the swings and the sliding board, so I'm a kid but I'm getting paid to watch younger kids," she said.
In 1970, despite being only 20 and having a handful of classes at Youngstown State University, she became a day care supervisor at Hagstrom House on the North Side. After 10 years, she moved to Head Start for the next quarter century.
Her first decade she went into homes.
"I'd teach the parents how to teach the child," Lewis explained.
After five years in a classroom in the Kimmel Brook housing development, she became a family service worker.
"Those parents knew the system better than I did, but that's when I started to get my feet wet in the social work business," Lewis said.
All this time she attended YSU intermittently. Finally she felt it was time to get serious about finishing a degree. Willie, her husband of 43 years, "was my biggest supporter. He said, 'they're not going to ask how long it took you, they'll ask for your papers.'"
Her supervisor at Head Start agreed.
"I said I'll be 153 years old by the time I finish, and she said you'll be 153 with a degree."
Although she was "mad at God because he was making me go," Lewis said the Lord provided her everything she needed. In 2003, she graduated from YSU with a bachelor's degree in social work, and that year she passed her licensed social worker exam on the first try.
Lewis left Head Start in 2005 to form her own agency providing companionship to the elderly. It never took off.
"I'm not a business person. I didn't know how to hustle and get clients," she said.
In 2007, Hospice of the Valley wanted African-American outreach workers. Lewis interviewed and felt everything was falling into place, so she was disappointed when the job wasn't offered. A few weeks later, manager Kathy Gordon told her they had another opening, this time for a bereavement facilitator.
"I wasn't enthused because I wasn't familiar with the position. Then she told me my salary and that I can learn the job," she said.
What started as a fluke became her passion, and she stayed until 2020.
Lewis led support groups for families, widows and widowers, and parents who lost children. She comforted grieving high school and middle school students. She ran a grief camp for children and organized community events at churches. During this time, she experienced several losses of her own, which altered her perspective.
"I'm not the grief expert. The person who is grieving is the grief expert. I let them know there's a point of healing, that they're going to grieve but they don't have to stay stuck like when it first happened," Lewis said.
During a meeting, participants revealed insensitive things people had said to them, usually in a misguided attempt to tell them how they should grieve. Lewis became so indignant at hearing their stories that she declared, "I should write a book about this."
The group took her literally and told her they wanted to see progress by the next meeting. The result, published in 2019, was "How Dare Us: A Resource Guide on Death Etiquette." The 24-page text lists examples of what not to say. She still sells it for $5 (she can be contacted at 330-770-2584 or compassionateconnection@hotmail.com). She sees this as guidance not for the grieving but for the general public, as anyone can benefit from having pointers to avoid saying "stupid stuff."
In retirement, Lewis hasn't lost her passion for bereavement. She continues to give presentations whenever asked.
"I still get calls from friends who want to talk about their grief, and I just normalize it for them. Everybody is telling them how they should be. I let them tell me what they're feeling so they'll be comfortable knowing they're grieving appropriately," she said.
Lewis credits her faith in God for guiding her path.
"My pattern was directed. I went from babies, young people, and families all the way up to old folks. All of this was preparation for what I ended up doing. I just look at my life like a full circle. I have a love for the elderly and a heart for the young."
To suggest a Saturday profile, contact Features Editor Burton Cole at bcole@tribtoday.com or Metro Editor Marly Reichert at mreichert@tribtoday.com.