Unless you live inside a rock formation, you know today is Mother’s Day.

Oh, I know what you’re thinking. The saying is “Unless you live under a rock…” But that’s never made sense to me. Who could possibly live under a rock?

First of all, what would the real estate situation be? Would there be slugs and worms and potato bugs busily scurrying about to host open houses? For that matter, would a boulder be equivalent to a million- dollar mansion?

OK, the point — I promise I’m getting there. Eventually.

Consider it: If it wasn’t for that very first friend of yours, you could very well be living under a rock. Or in a box. Or in a van down by the river, you got it?

And no, I’m not talking about your kindergarten pal who taught you the perfect method for shooting spitballs up onto the ceiling in the second grade. (For the record, he or she is likely living under a rock, in a box or in a van down by the river.)

I’m talking about the gal who has always put you before anything, anyone and even herself — your Mom.

Think about it. Who else would forego her own health, happiness, and frankly, sanity to make sure you are well-fed, well-adjusted and, well, just well in mind, body and spirit.

Because you wouldn’t know how to tie your shoes, tell time or even cross the street only AFTER looking both ways — if not for the careful guidance and steady hand of — you guessed it, Mom.

So today, let’s all do as we ought and pay due homage to Ma.

It’s not too late for you to do something fabulous for that sweet little lady who cut the crusts of your PB&J for decades.

Here are some last-minute gift ideas you can whip up for the woman who put you on the straight and narrow, sewed your Halloween costumes together and made sure your socks matched — and were clean, BT Dubs.

CLEAN THE HOUSE COUPON. She wiped your nose and trimmed your bangs. The least you can do is tidy up the family room — or at least pick up all your belongings strewn along the floor, a’ight?

FEED THE MOM COUPON. Whether you’re a master chef or have trouble following the directions on the two-step mac-and-cheese box, do a little something something for her. Breakfast, brunch, lunch or dinner, there’s plenty of time left in the day to spoil her a little. I’m even thinking a trip to the local Dairy Queen might not offend her,

HUGS COUPON. Again, unless you are an alien from the snow planet of Hoth (for details, download “Star Wars: The Empire Strikes Back”) you realize that even hairy, overgrown beasts hug their moms on Mother’s Day.

ANYTIME TIME COUPON. The thing that most Moms, at least in my humble opinion, enjoy most are visits from and to and with the kids and grandkids, capisce?

However you choose to celebrate her, if you’re blessed enough to still have the time to do so, smother her with love and affection today. Twice.

Happy Mother’s Day, all!

Kimerer is a columnist who is so grateful for the wonderful boy who calls her “Mom.” Contact her suggestions for Mother’s Day plans at pkimerer@zoominternet.net.