2020 needs to, like, take a chill pill right about now
Well, it was bound to happen.
It is, after all, the worst year, like, out of all the years.
OK, maybe not EVER in the history of people-kind. But it’s got to be up there in at least the top three or so.
I mean, how can anyone deny that we have been truly living life on one gigantic hamster wheel of poo since March?
By a show of hands, how many of y’all would like to go back to 2019 or earlier?
OK, careful, don’t spill your coffee. Go ahead and lower your hands. It’s hard for me to type that way for very long, anyway. Ahem.
A friend of mine recently posted a Facebook wall photo of two highway signs. The left hand sign indicated the current lane (and directed staying on its forward path). It was titled “2020.” Meanwhile, the off ramp sign read “1980s.”
She posted a note below it indicating that she’d exit stage right ASAP if she could and added, “Who’s with me?”
I call shotgun, Debbie. Oh, the ’80s.
Such a simple time — when hair bands ruled the airwaves, we all joined “Hands Across America,” Bill and Ted were on their original excellent adventure, and the only required clothing accessories were shoulder pads. No masks necessary; except on Halloween, natch.
Anyway, back to my original thought: The 2020’s claimed yet another casualty. Brace yourselves: This is the last season of “Keeping Up With the Kardashians.”
Stop pretending you don’t know who they are and that you’ve never watched their show. It’s a flipping pandemic, people. All binge-viewing rules are out the window, a’ight?
Sure, this year’s produced much worse, but it IS the end of an era, kinda. No more KUWTK.
You might love them. A lot of people do, after all.
You might dislike them. A lot of people do, after all.
Or you might love one or some of them and dislike others of them. A lot of people do, after all.
For instance, I LOVE Khloe and Kendall. I even like Corey, Kris’ boyfriend.
You aren’t going to like what I’m about to say, but I actually like Kanye a little bit.
Look, I think his heart’s in the right place most of the time, if not his mouth. I mean, he’s not ALL bad, just often confused and misspoken, methinks.
Anyway, they’re probably going to be OK. And I have a feeling we haven’t really seen the last of them. But I do believe Kourtney finally got her way.
Kourtney is the eldest Kardashian kid. Recently, she’s been pushing back on having her life on display 24/7. She even threatened to quit filming. Looks like she finally kiboshed the whole operation, capisce?
Just like Denise Richards on the “Real Housewives of Beverly Hills.” When something comes up she doesn’t want to share with the world (which she and Kourtney agreed to while cashing the big paychecks, if I’m not mistaken? Hmm…), she shuts that stuff down immediately. How?
The Housewives have an emergency stop-filming-me-right-now-or-else safe word. It’s “Bravo! Bravo! Bravo!” Usually screamed falsetto amidst a diva, hissy fit.
Denise loves to toss out the kill phrase. A lot.
For her part, Kourtney hurls out F-bombs to stop Kardashian kameras from continuing.
Either way, I’m just jealous. I want to tell 2020 to stop. On the count of three, let’s scream “Like, Totally Tubular!” — and maybe it’ll be 1984 again.
Kimerer is a columnist / blogger who just wants 2020 to take a chill pill. Totally check out www.patriciakimerer.com.