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Wedding prep and a look at Amish dating customs

By Lovina Eicher 5 min read

Eleven days left until son Benjamin and Joanna's wedding.

Time is going much too fast. I sewed my daughter Verena's dress last week. Tomorrow my goal is to sew mine.

Joanna and I plan to do some grocery shopping for the wedding one day this week. Mostly for dry ingredients and things that can be bought ahead. Next week, my friend Ruth will come and we will get the groceries that need to be frozen or refrigerated with her.

This is the seventh wedding Ruth has helped with wedding grocery shopping. I don't know what I would have done without all her help over these weddings. Joanna is doing a great job of getting everything organized. I'm helping out as much as I can. I told her my daughters had so much less to worry about for their weddings as we furnished the wedding wagon and cooler rental for their weddings, plus all the groceries. It helps that they will only have one meal. They will have their wedding at the local Community Youth Center. She will be a welcome addition to the family. She is easy to get along with, and I'm happy for our son Benjamin that he has found the love of his life. May they always let God be their guide as they unite as one.

I was asked to write a little about Amish youth dating. This varies from community to community. There are so many Amish communities in so many different states and everyone has different customs. So often the Amish get viewed as one group. I have many readers who know the Lovina that used to be Amish, and they watch her on social media. There has been a lot of confusion between the two of us. If what they say about how she explains dating and her growing up, those practices are not like how I grew up. There can be so much misconception about the Amish. That was not the way customs were in either of the communities that I have lived in. Although in the community I grew up in, there were more guidelines than we have now. It didn't hurt me to live like that. Life was simpler back then.

Growing up in my home community, when a boy wanted to ask a girl out for a date he would either ask her in person or write a letter asking her permission to drive her home from the youth singing on Sunday evening. If the date went well, then another one was planned for the next Sunday. We would have Sunday Singings, which was unmarried youth aged 16 and older who would gather on Sunday evenings at a home to sing German hymns, also songs in English after the German hymns.

We would socialize and eat snacks and sometimes the host would serve a meal. Volleyball and baseball would be played when the weather was warm. Dates usually consisted of riding together in a buggy, attending community events, weddings and church, or occasionally grabbing a meal in town, depending on the church. The length of dating isn't always the same. Some will date a year to five years before marriage. Usually once a week, but if there are weddings or family events, etc., then it might be more than once.

My daughters could call their partners while dating since in this community, we have phones in an outside building on the property. When Joe and I dated, we had to write letters to let each other know something during the week. I worked at a sewing factory for three years, and before that, I cleaned houses in town. Joe would sometimes be able to call me there to let me know something if a letter wouldn't reach me in time. We lived 8 miles from each other.

I was 17 and he was 19 when we started dating. We were married at 22 and 24. We would both have to go to a neighbor to use their phones, which was mostly to call a driver to go somewhere if we couldn't take the buggy, or to make a doctor appointment. I would sometimes ask their neighbor to go give Joe a message from me. We were both from the same town, but I lived east of town, and he lived west of town. If I sent a letter, he would usually get it the next day. In July, we celebrated our 33rd anniversary.

God's blessings to you all!

Carrot Cake

Ingredients:

Beat together:

2 cups sugar

1 ½ cups oil (I use vegetable)

4 eggs

Sift and add:

2 cups flour

1 teaspoon cinnamon

1 teaspoon baking soda

1 teaspoon salt

Mix until combined and stir in:

2 cups carrots, grated

1 cup crushed pineapple, drained

1 cup chopped walnuts, saving some for top

Directions:

Pour into a greased and floured 9 by 13 cake pan. Bake in a 350-degree oven for 40 minutes or until a toothpick inserted comes out clean.

Frosting ingredients:

4 ounces cream cheese, room temperature

1/4 cup butter, room temperature

2 teaspoons vanilla

2 1/2 cups powdered sugar

1/4 cup coconut (optional)

Directions:

Blend together cream cheese and butter, then add the rest of the ingredients and mix until smooth. Spread frosting on cake when cooled.

Lovina's Amish Kitchen is written by Lovina Eicher, Old Order Amish writer, cook, wife and mother of eight. Readers can write to Eicher at Lovina's Amish Kitchen, PO Box 234, Sturgis, MI 49091 (please include a self-addressed stamped envelope for a reply); or email questionsforlovina@gmail.com and your message will be passed on to her to read. She does not personally respond to emails.

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