Correspondent photo / Kerri Rickard Robert Gardi Jr. of Brookfield, left, and his uncle, Albert Rivera of Austintown, gather with friends and family for a surprise birthday party for Davidson in Austintown. After two years of staying home, people have been adjusting to being able to socialize again.

Having multiple awkward social moments in a day as we move our way out of a coronavirus pandemic is the new normal.

Friendly interactions are more like strange, rare bird dances when it comes to even relearning how to make a friend. Don’t be surprised if the person in front of you at the checkout line becomes overly chatty with the cashier. There’s a big chance that might be the only person he / she talks to all day or even, all week, according to mental health experts.

Patience with ourselves and others is the most beneficial way to get through it.

How do we move forward after so much change?

“There is no real ‘going back to our old life,'” said Mario La Luz, a licensed professional counselor and 2016 Youngstown State University graduate with a Master of Science in education.

“The pandemic forced us all to slow down and reflect on our jobs and lives more than we have had time to in the past. For some people, this may have been something brand new to encounter leading to job changes or starting our own businesses. It’s totally OK to discuss and bring up our experiences with others because we didn’t go through it alone.”

Some may have picked up on “grandma hobbies,” like gardening, canning, knitting and baking as people were forced to spend so much more time at home over the last two years.

“Don’t forget to share with others new hobbies you may have picked up that you found happiness or even failed at,” La Luz said. “It’s guaranteed that someone else’s loaf of bread didn’t turn out how they expected or they killed their sourdough starter.

“If you have found that you enjoy home life more than you did before, it’s OK to share your joy with others,” he said.

Coping with grief and hardships also changed during the pandemic.

“Keep in mind that we have people still healing, grieving and going through different types of health circumstances,” he said. “Some people have gone through different levels of depression and anxiety that have, in the past, been largely happy people, but have had changes happen. Be patient with them and with yourselves. We are all still healing.”

COPING IN TRANSITION

La Luz offered the following tips on dealing with re-integrating through society again:

・ Make sure you give yourself time to process what you’re going through. Don’t expect to normalize quickly. Two years, almost three years, of a pandemic is a lot of time. Sit down with yourself, or with something you enjoy and reflect.

・ Don’t feel like you need to bottle everything up or bite your tongue about your experiences. More than likely, there are others that would like to discuss what they went through and to share the commonality of support.

・ Most people are on different levels of healing. No one is going to jump back into the old normal. You need a period of adjustment at home, in the offices, in public. It’s not happening overnight. It will take months, if not longer, to process coming out of the pandemic. SLOW DOWN.

・ There are more instances of anxiety / depression or feeling unsure about what we are feeling. It’s best to talk to friends, family, or mental health professionals. Make it a regular thing to check in with these people — even work mates — so we can begin to process a major life event that has happened to all of us.

・ Don’t forget to put on a silly hat from time to time and have FUN.

STEPPING OUT, BABY STEPS

Speaking of fun, local entertainment and group activities slowly have been resurfacing.

Megan Albani of Boardman and Darla Wilson of Youngstown both said they were thrilled to be able to hit the floor as swing dance instructors again at Cedar’s West End in Youngstown. Classes restarted in October and run 7 p.m. Thursday nights.

During the worst of the pandemic, even dancing close with a partner in public was off the table. Many people found joy instead by dancing at home on social media such as TikTok.

Getting back in public had some unexpected problems.

“Not long ago, I remember most of us were able to dance continuously for 10 songs or more,” Albani said. “Now, it may only be three songs, but it’s a process to work back up to where we were and it’s not going to happen overnight.

“A lot of our bodies have changed, and we have all been through so much. But it’s great to let our body memory take over again and just do something we love so much.”

Wilson and Albani also had students in a dance program at YSU take part in swing dancing classes over five or six years, accumulating a large following.

“Right now the classes may be smaller since we temporarily lost our YSU students, but it’s just part of the process of coming back,” Wilson, also a physical therapist in Austintown, said.

“The mere fact that we couldn’t dance face-to-face with someone, hold hands and be close really took its toll on so many of us in general. Being able to touch another human — even just to hug again — it feels odd, yet something familiar that will take time getting used to again,” Albani said.

At the West Side Bowl in Youngstown, “Viking” Jim Allgren, Lisa Rembowski and their client through the Golden String adult activities program, Ajit Krishnan, 42, of Liberty, have had a blast returning to bowling.

Krishnan, who is autistic, enjoys his day program time at Purple Cat. Golden String takes special needs clients to social events in the tri-county area, and bowling is one of his favorites.

“He beats me quite often,” Allgren said. “He’s usually around the low 100s, but his high game is 159. That’s when I nicknamed him ‘Kingpin!’ He also won awards at the Purple Cat Bowling League banquet for being on the second-highest scoring team and for ‘Best Form.’ He’s my homeboy.”

Allgren and Rembowski said Krishnan and other clients had been adjusting to going on more outings. The special needs community had a difficult time at first not being able to enjoy their daily routines, but regular communication with friends, more in-house visits and activities, along with world news, helped to keep them informed.

“Ajit is awesome about sanitizing his hands and wearing his face shield,” Rembowski said. “He understands well about the issues with the pandemic and stays safe. Being out in the community is extremely important to him and a big part of his daily routine. He’s very happy to be back at it.”

CUT YOURSELF A BREAK

Sitting among the dancers and bowlers almost feels revolutionary by finding joy again, like a hard-fought war is coming to a close.

So many within the special needs / developmentally disabled community are used to their routines and when those are disrupted, behaviors may change, Allgren and Rembowski said. Those individuals on the autism spectrum or who are nonverbal, who were used to going to adult workshops or day programs didn’t always fully understand at first what was taking place in the world and why they were not able to go.

Caretakers made sure to read daily papers to show parts of news broadcasts so members of the community were able to stay informed, Allgren and Rembowski said.

The disruptions of routine and now return to socializing has been a challenge to most people, La Luz said. Immersing oneself back into such social situations can bring up a lot of memories, and even anxiety.

“There will come times when maybe you don’t feel ready to be social again. It’s OK,” La Luz said. “Sit with yourself or others and discuss what you may be feeling. Opening the lines of discussion and communication may not only be beneficial to you — but to others as well.

“Sometimes, a simple comment like, ‘We sure have been through a lot,’ will open the door to a greater discussion that is helpful.”