This is one of the hardest columns I have ever had to write, so please bear with me.

Our hearts are still heavy with pain as we mourn for our dear son-in-law Mose. Mose was a kind, respectful man and a loving husband of 4 1/2 years to our daughter Susan. He was a great father to our two little grandchildren Jennifer, 2, and Ryan, almost 18 months.

We ask God so many questions. So many whys, but we already know God makes no mistakes. It doesn’t make it any easier though, so we want to fully put our trust in Him and let Him lead the way.

Mose and Dan, his driver, were on their way to work on Dec. 9. Mose was only minutes away from home when they were struck head-on by an oncoming car that was on the wrong side of the road. This happened on the highway around a curve.

We do not know why this 19-year-old girl was on the wrong side of the road. Once again, we ask why? We leave it in God’s hands and try to brace ourselves for the heartaches the future holds.

Two young children will grow up without their father. A young widow of 24 will do her best to raise these little ones on her own. Jennifer was a daddy’s girl and most days would stand by the window waiting for him to come home from work. Now she keeps wondering if Daddy went deer hunting and when he’ll be back.

Susan does so well in front of others to hide the pain she is going through. Bedtime is really hard. Mose always helped her get the children to sleep at night. He was a great father!

Mose lost the battle from all his injuries in the accident on Dec. 14. He was never conscious, so Susan’s last memory was the hug and kiss she had from him before he walked out the door that morning. She said he always told her to be careful and safe and that he loved her and the children.

The funeral was held here in our pole barn, and Mose was buried in the new graveyard just down the road from us. We always wondered who would be the first to be buried there. Little did we know how close to us it would be.

Dan’s widow, Jodi, and his sister, Lisa, were here yesterday visiting. Before we knew it, hours went by. It helps to talk of memories, which is all they have left now too.

Daughter Verena went home with Susan and the children. She helps Susan with the children and is a great support as well. We miss having Verena at home, but they come here often. If they stay here for the night, Susan and the children sleep with Verena in her bedroom.

Daughter Elizabeth and Tim live only two miles from Susan, so they go often as well. Our family goes to help and also Mose’s family. It’s good to have all this support. We appreciate all the prayers and help in any way that makes the burden easier to bear.

Since the accident, our family had three birthdays that weren’t very happy. Daughter Verena turned 23 on Dec. 10. Grandson Timothy (T.J.) turned 2 on Dec. 17, and today is my husband, Joe’s, 52nd birthday. Happy birthday to all of them.

We do not know what the future holds but we know who holds it — God. His blessings be with all of you. We hope everyone had a Merry Christmas and we hope you treasure your family extra in this holiday season.

Daughter Verena will make these cookies today with our grandchildren. They are our favorite cutout cookie.

Sour Cream Cutout Cookies

1 cup butter, softened

1 1/2 cups sugar

3 large eggs, beaten

1 cup sour cream

2 tablespoons vanilla extract

3 1/2 to 4 cups all-purpose flour

2 teaspoons baking powder

1 teaspoon baking soda

Frosting:

1/3 cup shortening

1 teaspoon vanilla

4 cups powdered sugar

1/2 cup milk

Preheat oven to 350 degrees. In a large bowl, cream butter and sugar. Stir in the eggs, sour cream, and vanilla. In a medium bowl, whisk together flour, baking powder, and baking soda. Add dry ingredients to wet ingredients and stir until a soft dough is formed. On a floured surface, roll dough out to 1/2-inch thickness. Cut out with cookie cutters and place on a lightly greased baking sheet. Bake 10 minutes or until golden brown around the edges. Remove from oven and cool on pan for 5 minutes, then transfer to wire racks to cool.

Frosting: Cream shortening, vanilla, and 1 cup of powdered sugar. Gradually add milk and the remaining powdered sugar, beating constantly. Add more powdered sugar for desired consistency. Add food coloring if you like. Spread frosting on cookies and decorate with sprinkles and chocolate chips if desired. Let frosting set before storing.

Substitute for sour cream: 1 tablespoon lemon juice, 3/4 cup milk, 4 tablespoons butter. Melt the butter; add lemon juice and milk and let set for 5 or more minutes.

Lovina Eicher is an Old Order Amish writer, cook, wife and mother of eight. She, her husband, Joe, and their family live in southeastern Michigan. Contact Eicher at P.O. Box 1689, South Holland, IL 60473 (include a self-addressed stamped envelope for a reply) or email LovinasAmishKitchen@MennoMedia.org and the message will be passed on to her to read.