It was so odd that my wife called me at work: “You got a letter in the mail.” “You rang me up to tell me about yet another credit card offer?” “No,” she said. “Your cousin Cindy. She sent you a letter. An actual letter with an envelope, a stamp and everything.” “Weird,” ...
Science once proclaimed that what separated homo sapiens from all the other critters was that humans were the only creatures who fashioned and used tools. (Humans also are the only creatures known to use credit cards and hold committee meetings. You may think your executive committee is made ...
Has any kid ever poked an eye out? His, hers or anyone elses’s? That was the No. 1 threat parents gave to make us quit doing something: “Don’t run with that stick in your hand. You’ll fall and poke your eye out.” “Keep throwing those balled up socks like that and you’ll poke ...
I am my wife’s oldest son. I don’t know when the transformation happens but it’s an affliction most husbands suffer. One moment, our wives chat about how they fell in love with our boyish charms. The next, they’re spit-washing cereal off our cheeks and ordering us to tuck in our ...
’Tis the season to break out the holiday wear. I don’t mean ties imprinted with Santa’s chubby cheeks, and red and green sweaters littered with snowflakes. Let’s wait until December for that. I’m talking about pants that are two sizes too large and sweatshirts marked 3XL. If they ...
My phone rang the other day. I held it in my hand and stared at the screen. “Aren’t you going to answer it?” my wife asked. “I... I...” I gulped. “No.” “You don’t recognize the number?” she said. “Sure. It’s Ralph. But I need at least 30 minutes to psych myself up ...
