If you were an animal, what kind of animal would you be? That has to be one of the worst job interview questions ever, right up there with if you were a tree what kind of tree would you be? Listen, if you’re hiring a proboscis monkey to run the drill press or a maple sapling to drive a tow ...
The scene is imprinted in my memory in full Kodachrome color. There I was, hoofing it at a pretty good pace on my daily 10-mile run, when suddenly out of the woods burst a... No, wait. That was somebody else. I know it wasn’t me because I haven’t run a roll of Kodachrome in years. Or ...
Dairy cows with names produce more milk than anonymous cattle. I learned that while poking around to see what mischief scientific researchers have been up to lately. For one, they’ve been counting beer bubbles. Seriously. According to Gerard Liger-Belair, a professor of chemical physics ...
Bouncing my leg. Clicking my pen. Breathing. These are just a few of my favorite things that repeatedly annoy my wife’s low tolerance for noise. Terry has sensitive ears. Mine barely work. No, that’s not true. Terry has a very soft voice. And the volume control on our TV and CD player ...
Before I became a fossil, I used to be able to do things. That was before young punk kids improved simple tasks, complicating them beyond human capability. Or beyond mine. When I was a kid, we turned on the black-and-white TV by actually turning a knob. That’s why it’s called “turning ...
It’s finally come to this. I tried to deny it. Ignore it and it will go away. La, la, la, la, I can’t hear you. Despite my best Peter Pan efforts, it happened anyway. I fear that I am growing up. I pondered this while sipping my wife’s coffee. That’s when I knew. For more than 60 ...
