The mending pile is where good clothes with small problems go to die. It’s like prison for pants — you might see them again in three to five years. Most serve a life sentence. “Sweetheart, can you fix this hole in my pocket?” I called out from the bedroom. “Quarters keep rolling ...
Editor’s note: Humor columnist Burton Cole’s father, Frank A. Cole Jr., passed away peacefully Tuesday at the age of 89. Today, Cole is rerunning a column that was published Feb. 1, 2015, as a birthday present to his father. Today my dad celebrates his 82nd birthday, and I think it’s ...
Punctuation can get you punched. It doesn’t matter if it’s good punctuation or bad. I’ve irked people using either. There was the time that I was suckered into working on a group project to produce a document. They brought brains and ideas. I fixed the commas and apostrophes. “An ...
The Road Runner foretold my future. In the classic Warner Brothers cartoons of my childhood, whenever the Road Runner said, “Beep-beep,” an anvil crashed on Wile E. Coyote’s head. “Beep-beep” also preceded the coyote plunging off a cliff, getting smashed by a train or blowing up on ...
I miss my brain. I recall a time when I didn't need to write lists and paste sticky notes to my forehead to remember things. I think I remember that. Maybe I read it somewhere. Adulting does that to a person. As a kid, I couldn't wait to grow up so that I could do whatever was on my ...
When white blankets our world and red plummets to the bottom of the thermometer, blues chill our soul. Simply put — baby, it’s cold outside. The great philosopher and chef Alexandra Guarnaschelli once said, “Winter blues are cured every time with a potato gratin paired with a roast ...
