A meme shows a guy looking puzzled as he hikes through the woods. The copy states: “The older I get, the more I regret all the people I’ve lost over the years. Maybe being a trail guide wasn’t such a great idea after all.” While silly, the meme hit me funny — not in a “ha-ha” ...
I wanted to drive the tractor so badly, I could taste it. “Please,” I begged Dad from the barely cushioned seat of our old Allis-Chalmers. “Dale says his dad has let him drive tractor since he was 7. Jeff plows fields. Roy said he plants the corn. I’m the ONLY 9-year-old farm kid ...
The confusion began when I was 5 and Dad grilled hot dogs. “What kind of dogs are they made from?” I asked. “Wiener dogs, of course.” Dad licked his lips. “Yum-yum.” “Marcella’s wiener dog? Did you go to Aunt Charlene’s and steal their puppy for supper?” My little ...
The boss dropped another pesky annoyance on my desk. “When you catch up with all your other tasks, you can work on this,” she chirped. “Think you can have it ready a week from Tuesday?” I suppressed a chuckle. More like a hearty guffaw. The last time I was caught up on everything, I ...
The great philosopher Tim Hawkins once said, “If (my wife) ever leaves me, I’m going with her.” Outside of other people’s politics, there’s nothing that baffles and befuddles us more than love. As another Valentine’s Day is about to befall in a flurry of bouquets, chocolates, ...
Editor’s note: Burt is experiencing a head cold malfunction. While he’s busy coughing and sneezing, we present the Cole Classic from Feb. 8, 2004, written right after the infamous “wardrobe malfunction” Super Bowl and not too far removed from the “hanging chad” presidential ...
