I told you so! Not YOU specifically. Science. I called it in these very pages way back in 2012. It was the only thing that made sense. Sure, I was a little shaky the time that I insisted that the octopus is the spider of the sea. Maybe my plan to raise a breed of roof goats to keep moss ...
“I’m not a complete idiot,” the sign stated. “Some parts are missing.” The next sign over read: “If I had a dollar for everything I’ve lost… I’d probably lose that too.” Mankind’s most popular hobby just might be losing things. I had the statistics to confirm that ...
There were no YouTube tutorials to teach me how to drive a tractor. I had to learn the old-fashioned way — Dad yelling at me every time I popped the clutch, bucking him off the sputtering Farmall. Or maybe it was Dad who was sputtering. The main reason for the lack of video tutorials back ...
It was Nia Vardalos who said, “Becoming a mom, to me, means you have accepted that for the next 16 years of your life, you will have a sticky purse.” Lynne Williams observed, “A mother need only step into the shower to be instantly reassured she is indispensable to every member of her ...
I had invited her. She came. When it was time for her to leave, I stood, hugged her goodbye … then sat back down to finish eating my cake. Five days later, it finally occurred to me that the polite thing would have been to walk her to her car. And probably hold her door. And tell her how ...
I finished my order of General Tso’s chicken and reached for dessert — the fortune cookie. And got hotter than the general’s chicken when I pulled the slip out of the cookie. My fortune came with a QR code. Seriously? Two troubling questions weighed upon me: One, do you have to carry a military title — such as General Tso or Colonel Sanders — to cook delicious chicken? And two, where can a person go to escape the taunting of those annoying apps and QR codes? I’m afraid to take a walk in the woods. Not for fear that Yogi Bear will jump out and demand my picnic basket ...
