Cousin Dweezil sent me another one of her tidbits of what she considers wisdom: “I’ve found that if you tuck one part of your pants legs into your socks, people expect less of you.” OK, maybe that one is wise. But not all of the questionable quandaries, ponderances and quagmires that ...

The kid’s nose nearly dusted the brownie as he calculated to the millimeter where to place the plastic knife. His brother leaned in so closely to supervise that if he had been old enough to grow one, the brownie knife could have simultaneously trimmed his beard while dividing the ...

I awoke in a panic. I’d forgotten to feed the cat! For three weeks. Maybe four. Through the brain fog, I remembered opening a can of cat food. By now, it had to be an undulating mass of bugs that walked away on its own. I threw back the covers. The breeze made by the blankets must have ...

My mouth watered for a supper of spaghetti and meatballs. Then tragedy struck. The microwave oven conked out. I was horrified. Terrified. Even a bit stupefied. What was I supposed to do now? Cook? Who even remembers the recipe for boiling water on a stove? I’d had the microwave for only ...

I scrolled across a meme that stated: “I’m not afraid of aging — just stairs, tiny print and chairs that sit too low.” Aging has to be about the weirdest adventure I’ve ever experienced. Roller coasters were the most upsetting, frightening and stomach tickling, but aging is coming ...

All I wanted to do was pay my bill. That’s it. I bought a service. I owed money. I intended to pay. Remember the old days when you could walk into a place and hand them cash or you could write a check and send it in the mail? Anymore, you need an advanced computer degree from MIT just to ...