More memes mean less work to undertake

I was supposed to be mowing the lawn or paying bills or fixing the dryer or something boring like that. Instead, I flopped into my easy chair and scrolled through my phone to research the latest memes. For my job, of course.

One of the memes I saw went something like this: “I’m fairly certain that the person who put the first ‘R’ in February also decided how to spell Wednesday.”

This reminded me of my sweet wife, who believes that Merriam or Webster or whomever deleted an “E” out of the word judgment. According to her, the word should be spelled judgement.

“Without the E following it, the soft G becomes hard, like in ‘jug,’ or ‘mug’ and ‘You’re so wrong, you dictionary writer who doesn’t know how to spell!’ ”

How does one check a dictionary for typos? Normally, you’d go to the dictionary, but if…

While I ponder that, here are a few more memes I saw on various pages while hard at work:

•   I’m just trying to have a nice time despite knowing facts and information — Donni Saphire

•   If you’re asking me for advice, I’m going to assume you’re out of all other rational options.

•   I need to re-home a dog. It’s a small terrier and tends to bark a lot. If you’re interested, let me know and I’ll jump over my neighbor’s fence and get it for you.

•   Charcuterie — because a generation raised on Lunchables is trying to be cool.

•   If two people love each other, nothing is impossible — except deciding where to eat. — Cathy Kumma Gilstrap

•   No, I don’t want to come to your dog’s birthday party … freak! My cat is getting married that weekend.

•   I once bought a wooden car, with a wooden engine, wooden doors, wooden wheels and wooden seats. I then put the wooden key in the wooden ignition.

It wooden start. — Bob MacPherson

•   I have come to the conclusion that I have a memory like an Etch-A-Sketch — I shake my head and forget everything.

•   One doctor to another: “According to my research, laughter is the best medicine, giggling is good for mild infections, chuckling works for minor cuts and bruises, and snickering only makes things worse.” — cartoonist Randy Glasbergen

•   Sign taped to a display of paint at a store: “Notice: Husbands choosing paint colors must have a signed note from their wife.”

•   A welcome sign on a door: “Just text us when you’re here. No need to knock and get the dogs involved.”

•   You can give a cat a fish and he’ll eat for a day. Or you can teach a cat to fish, and he’ll sit in his boat, pouting all day because nobody gave him another fish.

•   Sign in front of business: The employee shortage is so bad that long-haired freaky people can now apply! (If you get that reference, you’re my people — old!)

•   Him: “I joined a Carpenters class last week.”

Her: “Have you made anything yet?”

Him: “We’ve only just begun.”

(Again, if you get that reference, you and I really need to update our record, er, 8-track, uh, I mean, online music store collection.)

•   Good news — made it to my golden years. Bad news — ain’t no gold.

•   Tomorrow is National Gray-Haired Grumpy Old Man Day, and I expect recognition!

Send more memes to Cole at burtseyeview@tribtoday.com or the Burton W. Cole page on Facebook.


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