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Frogs inspire hoppy thoughts

Burt's Eye View

We tiptoed to the ditch, then counted the number of frogs leaping from the grassy bank into the water. We always stopped to study the frog ditch on our summer walks.

“That was the life,” I sighed. “Sunning myself in the grass, snapping flies out of mid-air, and snoozing underwater.”

My wife, Terry, felt my forehead. “You were a frog?”

“Sure, don’t you remember? You kissed me and turned me into a handsome prince.”

She eyed me. “My lips must have slipped.”

“We can learn a lot from frogs,” I said. “They’ve been ribbiting erudition and peeping wisdom since I was but a tadpole.”

“You were educated by amphibians?” She nodded. “That explains a lot.”

“I’ll never forget what the great frog philosopher once told us: ‘I think the very best part of creativity is collaborating with friends and colleagues. Admittedly, mine happen to be bears, pigs, rats, chickens and penguins, but you go with whatever works for you.'”

“The great frog philosopher said that?”

“Yep. Kermit the Frog. Possibly the most prominent pundit of all polliwogs.”

“Uh-huh.” She took my hand and headed us toward home. “Maybe you should lie down for a little while.”

Which had been my plan all along instead of croaking under the load of housework she had lined up for me after our walk.

Get-out-of-work scams aside, frogs do inspire thoughts of greatness. Don’t take my word for it. Here are some observations from other great philosophers:

“Frogs have it made — they get to eat what bugs them.” — anonymous

“Theories pass. The frog remains.” — Jean Rostand

“Every time I hear a politician mention the word ‘stimulus,’ my mind flashes back to high school biology class, when I touched battery wires to a dead frog to make it twitch.” — Robert Kiyosaki

“I’d kiss a frog even if there was no promise of a Prince Charming popping out of it. I love frogs.” — Cameron Diaz

“These days when you kiss a prince, you often run the risk of turning him into a frog.” — Anthon St. Maarten

“We are born princes and the civilizing process makes us frogs.” — Eric Berne

“If a frog becomes a king, he will make the whole kingdom muddy.” — Mehmet Murat ildan

“He has no faith in principles, only in frogs.” — Ivan Turgenev, “Fathers and Son”

“If frogs had side pockets, they’d carry handguns.” — Dan Rather

“If it’s your job to eat a frog, it’s best to do it first thing in the morning. And if it’s your job to eat two frogs, it’s best to eat the biggest one first.” — Mark Twain

“You cannot eat every tadpole and frog in the pond, but you can eat the biggest and ugliest one, and that will be enough, at least for the time being.” — Brian Tracy, “Eat That Frog!”

“My parents used to call me ‘The Little Frog,’ because whenever they asked how I knew something, I’d say, ‘Read it,’ which sounds a bit like a frog croak.” — Talulah Riley

“Just because you haven’t found your talent yet doesn’t mean you don’t have one.” — Kermit the Frog

“I’m not a diva. I’m a tadpole trying to be a frog.” — Toni Braxton

“Someday we’ll find it, the rainbow connection, the lovers, the dreamers and me.” — Kermit the Frog (with Paul Williams and Kenneth Ascher)

Always stop to study the frog ditch. — Me.

• It’s not easy being green. Croak at Cole at burtseyeview@tribtoday.com or at www.burtonwcole.com.

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