My fellow Americans: I’m not positive why I started things out that way this Independence Day. I guess it’s just that I’ve just always really, really wanted to say that, you know? Sounds so very presidential. Oh, I get it, I couldn’t be further from being an even remotely electable ...
I’m not afraid of them as a species, per say. I mean, some of them are quite remarkable. Elegant, glorious, beautiful — majestic, even. Then there are the other cretins. Sinister. Dirty. Creepy. Freaking scary to the core, yo. I mean, let’s be real. You can call them Aves as a ...
We all know things are about Dad today. As well they should be. And while I do thank the man who helped me bring the greatest blessing of my life into being — this is just a really tough day for me. Totally can’t get over how much I miss my Pop. Heaviest of SIGHS. But today — well, ...
I saw this Hyundai commercial the other day that challenges Americans (and probs all the other residents of the third rock where Hyundais are sold) to “Question Everything.” It’s a full minute of film, TV, music and sports celebrities driving in, lying next to, loading the back hatch of ...
So I was chatting with my girlfriend the other day. And, for the sake of protecting the innocent (she, being my gal pal), I’ll refer to her as, um, Barbara Jean. As Barbara Jean and I engaged in one of our daily breakdown sessions, she happened to mention the off-putting exchange she ...
Well, it’s about time I came clean. I mean, as clean as possible under the circumstances. Oh, no, it’s got nothing to do with quarantine or lockdown or limited access to cleaning supplies or anything like that. I mean to say, that’s not the dirty little secret I’m keeping. What I am ...
