Staff photos / Ed Runyan Kristin Harper gets animated while talking about the big personality of her husband, Nicholas, who died of a drug overdose Dec. 5, 2021. “It was so easy to fall in love with him,” she said.

YOUNGSTOWN — Kristin Harper could be wallowing in the sadness of losing her husband in December to an accidental drug overdose. Instead, she and her children are focused on the good that he brought to their lives.

Nicholas A. Harper, 37, of Youngstown, is one of about 161 Mahoning County residents who died of a drug overdose in 2021 — a record number and an average of three per week.

In so many cases, the person was found alone, leaving the impression they essentially were alone in their lives.

But that was far from reality for Nicholas.

‘THE BEST’

Kristin said she met Nicholas about 18 months ago and quickly discovered he was one of the most fun, energetic and positive people she’d ever met. The relationship he formed with her two children, Travis, now 8, and Maxine, now 6, was magical, she added.

“Nick was always, always with the kids. That’s just who he was,” she said at her home last week. “When Nick came along, they just clung to him, and he was just amazing, absolutely everything about him.”

They were married Oct. 26 after dating for about a year.

“Honestly, it was by far the best year of my life and the best year of these kids’ lives. He was just super involved,” she said.

As Kristin said “the best,” Maxine repeated her words from across the room. Kristin later explained that “the best” is a sort of catchphrase her family uses to emphasize something good.

Kristin said Nicholas was up front about his addiction. He was in recovery and had support through an area treatment facility.

“When we got together, there were strict rules. There was to be no using in the house, nothing,” she said.

Nicholas brought many positives to their lives, so when The Vindicator contacted her to ask if she would talk about him, she was enthusiastic.

“I was afraid people would forget about him, but this man was too great to be forgotten,” she said.

ENERGETIC

Nicholas worked in a factory and also did snow plowing, said Kristin, a stay-at-home mom.

Among Nicholas’ greatest virtues was the way he treated Kristin and her kids. But Kristin said she also was amazed by the positive energy he brought to their lives.

A few months after they met, she and Nicholas took a trip to Siesta Key Beach in Florida, where they enjoyed a trip to a game room.

“He won the game, and he was so pumped and so excited,” she said. She has a picture book with several photos of the trip. He also liked Hollywood Gaming at Mahoning Valley Race Course in Austintown, and they took outings to Cedar Point, Wagon Trails Animal Park in Vienna and the beach at Lake Milton.

He could be equally enthusiastic about something as mundane as cleaning.

“He would get in these cleaning mode and say, ‘I’m going to clean the kids’ rooms,’ and he would put on some music, and he would have his energy drink and just be jamming out and cleaning, and he was hilarious.”

HIGHER POWER

Nicholas had two children from a previous relationship but didn’t get to see them.

Kristin had been married before to her kids’ father.

“I met Nick, and it was so easy to fall in love with him,” she said. “He paid so much attention to the kids that I feel like I’m blushing, and he’s not even here,” she said.

As a family, they went to the Kingdom Hall of Jehovah’s Witnesses “and loved that,” she said. “The kids love it. With recovery they talk a lot about higher power, so it was really cool. We were finding that together, and it brought us closer together as a family. And you could really see the personality changes in all of us and in him.”

The two of them even stopped smoking last year. Nicholas “had been smoking since he was 17,” she said.

RELAPSE

Kristin said Nicholas had been “clean” for a long time prior to the fatal relapse. She said it happened during a difficult time for the family that began in November with a fire in their apartment in Boardman after a malfunction of their stove.

They were in the process of moving to a house in Youngstown. But Nicholas also was stressed by not being able to see his biological daughter around her birthday, Kristin said.

“So between that and moving and him not being allowed to see his daughter — and then I had to go out of town. And I can see how he would be triggered,” she said.

He was found alone, and his death was ruled an accidental overdose as a result of cocaine and fentanyl, according to the coroner’s office.

“It is sad because while it was a choice, I have no anger, no resentment towards him. But it goes to show just how dangerous the disease of addiction is. He went to buy coke and it ended up having fentanyl in it,” Kristin said.

“And now in this community, it’s just everywhere. In a sense it’s a blessing and a curse this fentanyl stuff. It’s brought so many people to seek recovery because they realize drugs aren’t just drugs anymore. It’s a death sentence. He worked his program of recovery. And he did really good. And when he passed, a lot of people were shocked because he was so positive. He was always helping other people in recovery,” she said.

“He wasn’t one of the lucky ones,” she said. The reaction of people to his death was shock.

“When he died, I don’t think he realized how many people loved him,” she said. A clerk in their favorite store told her Nicholas was “one of her favorite people who would come in because he was always happy.

“A lot of times with addiction, there is depression that goes hand in hand,” but Nicholas was not on medication for depression, she said.

REMEMBER

Kristin said some of her fondest memories of Nicholas are of his interactions with her children.

“He was always so patient, especially with Travis,” she said. “It was something Travis wasn’t used to from a father figure. Travis would get frustrated over something and Nick would go in his room and say, ‘Hey, buddy. Why don’t you talk to me?’ and 15 minutes later, the kid would come out and be calm. And I would be like, ‘What magic stuff are you doing that I don’t know about?'”

She said there is a stigma around people in recovery.

“But the thing is, people in recovery are practicing spiritual principles. They are really trying to better their lives. And you have a lot of people in the world today who don’t suffer from the disease of addiction, or the disease of alcoholism, that aren’t practicing any spiritual principles,” she said.

“From many people I have met in recovery, they know that they can’t undo the past mistakes. When someone is under the influence, they are most definitely not themselves. That acceptance is a big part of recovery. Self acceptance was one thing Nick struggled with. But he was really good at accepting everything else. He was really good at helping others accept themselves.

“I chose to accept Nick the way he was. I think acceptance is different than tolerance. I accepted all of these things, but I wouldn’t tolerate him to use in the house, and there were certain things he wouldn’t tolerate of me. At the end of the day, we wanted what was best for each other and for the kids. We really just wanted to be a good wholesome family.”