The fair food gods fired me

By Todd Franko (Contact)

Published September 2, 2011

I have a great job here at The Vindy.

But this time every year -- I have another great job: food judge at the Canfield Fair.

I should say "had."

I've been fired — apparently.

The annual contest happened Friday, and I was not part of it. The past two years, I've judge pineapple and spinach dishes, and had a great time with the folks.

The rule must be: Don't become too good at food or you're out.

I admit that I'm not a refined judge.

For instance: My lady judging partners would slice off a quarter spoonful of a piece to judge. I would slice off a quarter of the pan.

My lady partners would smell the dish first, then touch the quarter piece delicately with their tongues. I piled in the whole spoonful, then another.

My lady partners gladly pushed away to contest helpers the excess food remnants on their plate. I growled when a hand came near me.

My lady partners approached their roles with dignity and separation from the audience — as if in a culinary world of their own. I would bite into a piece, look at the crowd of 40 and say “Wow this is good! Anyone want part of mine?”

So I’m out.

This year was cabbage, by the way. I now hate cabbage.

My only message from the fair folks — after the fact -- was that they traded me to the Trumbull County Fair for 2012.