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« Stirfry

Lottery gives you blue balls!

By Bertram de Souza (Contact)


Published May 15, 2010

Untitled document

The Ohio Lottery sent out the following advisory to its agents on Saturday:

“Beginning Monday, May 17, 2010, the evening drawings will have a slightly new look. The current white drawing balls that players have been used to seeing each night will be replaced with new drawing balls. The Pick 3, Pick 4 and Rolling Cash 5 balls will be ‘mango’ in color and the classic lotto balls will be ‘blue’ in color.”

To be sure, playing the lottery provides the same level of frustration that a man experiences when he’s in the throes of passion with a woman he finds alluring, only to be stopped at the most inopportune moment.

(For further explanation of the “Blue balls” syndrome, consult Web MD.)

So, why did the Ohio Lottery choose mango and blue?  Lottery agents weren’t given an explanation. Perhaps there’s a subliminal message: Playing the lottery is as difficult to win as finding a ripe, sweet mango, and as frustrating as being with a woman who won’t let you go all the way — thus leaving you blue.


Comments

1mvo(7 comments)posted 4 years, 5 months ago

Unbelievable. This is so unbelievably inappropriate. I do not have a prudish bone in my body and I still find this highly offensive. I cannot believe the Vindicator has allowed one of their staff to even post this trash. This paper wants to be taken seriously and be respected by their readers and then they allow this kind of garbarge to be put on this site? So many people make so many derogatory comments about the Youngstown area and its residents - and now our newspaper has resorted to publishing what is little more than the type of childish remarks you would expect from a middle-school-aged boy.

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2Stan(9923 comments)posted 4 years, 5 months ago

"This paper wants to be taken seriously and be respected by their readers and then they allow this kind of garbarge to be put on this site"

OUCH ! Lighten up ! Bertram is, well ,Bertram . He has his own style . Perhaps he related to this by sitting at the computer with his legs crossed. :)

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3Youngstown_Strong(91 comments)posted 4 years, 5 months ago

not typically a Berty fan but I liked this one... Good stuff Bert.

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4ts1227(137 comments)posted 4 years, 5 months ago

It's not inappropriate, just pointless.

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5badeepster(113 comments)posted 4 years, 5 months ago

Bertie deScumbag sinks to a new low!! Only here in Y-Town at the Vindyrag!

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6BillyBob(92 comments)posted 4 years, 5 months ago

I hope Bertram didn't drive home after he wrote this - it appears like he woulda got another DUI.

What is the point of this column? I have heard from multiple people that Bert may have some issues with gambling (particularly scratchoffs) , maybe thats why he wasted an article on a horrible attempt at a joke.

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7walter_sobchak(1922 comments)posted 4 years, 5 months ago

Sorry, Bert. When I searched the WebMD website for the term "Blue Balls", all I got is what appears o be your picture side-by-side. If you really want to be taken seriously as a journalist, grow up!

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