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« Project Mom

Who does Ann Coulter think she is and what’s her beef with Single Moms?

By Geniene P. (Contact)


Published January 12, 2009

I am a single mother and I’m proud of that fact.  My child’s father has not been in our lives since I was 6 months pregnant.  I joined a wonderful national mother’s group while I was in New York called “Single Moms by Choice” (SMC) which has been a great source of support and information.  We define ourselves as “A Single Mother by Choice is a woman who has made the deliberate choice to be a mother, knowing that she would be parenting alone, at least at the outset.”  This group doesn’t distinguish how one came to be a single mom except that there is no assistance (in any way) from the child’s father.  Some of my friends have sperm donor babies, some of their children are from “chance and circumstance” (like my daughter), some have adopted and some are foster mothers.  Net, net, we are all women who made the decision to raise children on our own because we desperately wanted children.  We took control of our biological clocks or life circumstances and made the best of it.  It’s not to say that the women in this group don’t date or aren’t looking for “Mr. Right or Ms. Right”.  It’s just that, most often, the opportunity to have a child with a partner was taking too long for our biological realities.

Now, along comes Ann Coulter to pass judgement on single moms like me as if she is an expert on child rearing and the effects of being raised in a single parent household.  I know her latest rant is just to get more press and sales for her vitriolic books which constantly condemn what and whom she deems a liberal.  However, I don’t understand her latest attack upon single mothers.  Is it the fact that her biological clock has not only gone off but has probably been bashed in with a baseball bat?  I’m sorry but one has to wonder.  Does she think that only liberals are single moms?  Hate to tell her but there are quite a few Republicans that are members of my SMC group. Her main argument is that the liberal media and celebrities have made us want to become single moms and that is a bad thing.

I know that even giving any writing space to her or her viewpoints lengthens her time in the public eye but some people do listen to her (which is scary).  She was on The View Monday and took on 4 single mothers: Whoopi Goldberg, Barbara Walters, Joy Behar and Sherri Shepherd.  These women were all single moms of divorce or circumstance and had a few words for her. Ms. Coulter came right out with a whopper and said that children of single mothers are likely to be in jail. Even Elizabeth (the View's conservative voice) didn't support her and had issues with Ann for not attacking the missing fathers but laying all the blame on the mothers in her book.  One could see Whoopi and Joy just biting their tongues and using their utmost restraint to not go off on Ms. Coulter's ridiculous generalizations.  I found the exchange when Whoopi asked Ms. Coulter if she was a mother the most interesting because Ms. Coulter thinks she knows what it is like to raise a child even though she has never done it.  What is most damaging about someone like Ms. Coulter being on the air waves touting her beliefs is that she went cherry picking for her data to support her extremist viewpoints. 

I am happy to let you know that there are many single mothers in the US raising healthy, wonderful children.  We, for the most part, ignore commentaries from people like Ann Coulter because we know the reality of child rearing as a single mother.  But it does make one wonder how many people are listening to her and truly believing she's a voice of knowledge.  For the record, if anyone is interested in learning more about the Single Mother’s by Choice group, feel free to e-mail me via The Vindy and send me your e-mail address (because it won’t show up).  And, or, go to Yahoo groups to see more information about our group.  There are options if you are watching your biological clock tick and Mr. Right is nowhere to be found.  FYI, we keep our group discussions private, for members only, because we have been attacked by conservative groups and believe we deserve our privacy.


Comments

1Woody(451 comments)posted 5 years, 8 months ago

First, Being a Conservative does not equal being a Republican. It often does. But just like you see in this Valley, there are plenty of registered and proud Democrats, who if you gave them a political ideology test would fall more in line with the Republican Platform.

I did not see the View. I only recently picked up Ann's new book. Have not had a chance yet to read it.

The data is overwhelming to say that a child raised in with a mother and father in the house, is much better off that one raised in a single parent household. That is not to say it can't be done. People hit the lottery now and then too. That does not mean it should be considered a solid retirement plan.

Lets look at statistics, for children from a single family household:
- 72% of teenage murders come from a single parent household
- Significant increase risk to be drug abusers
- More likely to live in poverty
- More likely to be

Now you and your group may have had a good experience with being single parents. Do I think some were selfish, sure, they choose to have a child, even though the cards are stacked against them. Being raised in a single family household is a far better alternative than abortion or abandonment.

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2pennysmom(8 comments)posted 5 years, 8 months ago

i am a proud single mom and my kid is growing up just fine. as for the statistics I think we will see them change in the coming years. there used to be a lot of shame in being a single parent home and this would rub off on the kids. i think with more acceptance, children of single parents will come out with higher self-esteem and there is a lot more opportunity now. single parents themselves are a lot more proud and vocal about it. my friends are both married and single and me and my kid are completely accepted. i remember this not being the case when i was younger. i can imagine this would do great damage to a young mind. heck, our new president is the product of a single parent home. what ann is doing is poisionous. it's saying don't accept single moms and their kids, they're probably going to turn our badly. what a hateful thought. thank god she didn't breed. in her i just see pure bitterness. i bet she was too scared to be a single mom as what would it do to her ratings. well miss coulter, engaged 3 or 4 times and never got to the alter, she is letting it all out now. i find this "attack" to be part of her repitoire of personal bitterness. and I feel very sorry for her. very very sorry for her.

and to the commenter above me. i sure hope you got that book from the library or what a heck of a waste of money.

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3ytownoptimist(86 comments)posted 5 years, 8 months ago

Just having 2 parents in a household does not equal a healthy childhood. I went to school with plenty of kids who did drugs, got pregnant in high school, were bulimic or engaged in dangerous behavior from "good, 2 parent families". Every family has skeletons in their closets that can negatively impact a child's psyche. To insinuate that raising a healthy child in a single parent environment is akin to hitting the lottery is ludicrous. Also, are any of the statistics you site divided out to show education & income levels of the households these children live? As pennysmom states, there are soon to be a generation of children raised in single parent households by older, better prepared (financially & emotionally) parents. There have already been studies comparing older moms to younger moms & one could argue that people in their twenties shouldn't have children because they aren't as financially stable as people in their thirties. Conservatives are never happy. Don't have an abortion but don't have a wanted, loved child if you happen to be single. I have never understood this argument that the utopia couple exists & should be the only ones reproducing. Yes, wouldn't that be nice but when is the last time you looked at any marriage & saw the picture of perfection? Do you think children don't see the flaws in their parents & their relationships &, sometimes, become a little damaged because of it?

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4lucy(123 comments)posted 5 years, 8 months ago

Ann Coulter is just desperately clinging to relevance, and if focusing on the personal lives of celebrities is how she does it, well then she's more on par with Perez Hilton than with any legitimate journalist.

I too try not to let Coulter bother me, but I find it's hard not to, as a woman, get somewhat riled at another woman who clearly detests her gender. I cite her "harpies" reference to the 911 widows as another example.

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5Tugboat(759 comments)posted 5 years, 8 months ago

She stated that Tom Tomorrow cartoons "aren't remotely funny." What a bore.

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6apollo(1227 comments)posted 5 years, 8 months ago

Ann is simply playing to the sexist bigotry in her audience. It's how she sells books and makes money.

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7epicfail(217 comments)posted 5 years, 8 months ago

Still not sure what "The View" has to do with single parenting... but I guess I'll tune in tomorrow for how "The Price is Right" leads down the dark path to gay marriage.

....I'm all for Ann Coulter writing more books. Maybe by 2012 Sarah Palin can even get some 'rEEdURz' supporting her.

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8ytownoptimist(86 comments)posted 5 years, 8 months ago

ClarkKent I just find it sad that you have so much anger in your response above. Children need stable, consistent love & home environments regardless of the number of parents around the home. I only hope that you treat all children with compassion & kindness regardless of their home circumstances which they have no control over. I would think we've come a long way since the day of ostracizing children who don't have both parents in their life.

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9projectgeniene(87 comments)posted 5 years, 8 months ago

FYI: I prefer to take the high road when anyone writes comments that are downright mean spirited. It says more about the person making the comment's psyche than anything.

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10tnmartin(234 comments)posted 5 years, 8 months ago

I see that, as usual, name-calling is preferred to dealing with the facts.
The fact is that Coulter, if anything, UNDERSTATED the issue.
Let's cite facts, not ''f-e-e-l-i-n-g-s''.
And the facts are not kind. But they are real.
FACT: children brought up in single-mother homes are five times more likely to commit suicide
FACT: children brought up in single-mother homes are nine times more likely to drop out of high school
FACT: children brought up in single-mother homes are 10 times more likely to abuse chemical substances
FACT: children brought up in single-mother homes are 14 times more likely to commit rape (for the boys)
FACT: children brought up in single-mother homes are 20 times more likely to end up in prison,
FACT: children brought up in single-mother homes are 32 times more likely to run away from home.
(you can get these statistics from Coulter's current column, if you have the intellectual honesty to access it).
These are not trivial things. And reveal as a lie the assertions that single-parent homes are 'just as good' and that assertions to the contrary are ''bigotry'.

The statistics, sad ones all, are pretty readily available, but some can't be bothered to get them I guess. Most beat cops could confirm these statistics.

There are reasons why people in an earlier, wiser age, made a point of MARRIAGE before jumping into bed and making babies.

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