facebooktwitterRSS
- Advertisement -
  • Most Commentedmost commented up
  • Most Emailedmost emailed up
  • Popularmost popular up

Poland


Residential
5 bedroom, 6 bath
$395000


Poland


Residential
4 bedroom, 7 bath
$949900


- Advertisement -
- Advertisement -
 

« Just Asking

To speak or not to speak?

By Kim Boccia (Contact)


Published May 24, 2013

Untitled document

(In response to last week’s column)
It appears that the only way to know if a remedy will work for you is simple trial and error. We all react to things differently. I’m not sure if gin soaked raisins will help my knees or not, but it sure does sound yummy, so why not. I did, however, brush my teeth with hydrogen peroxide, baking soda, water and toothpaste, and although it tasted like drywall, my teeth did look whiter.
Just saying…

Protocol
Often you come across an old acquaintance, or meet someone, who has something different about them in regards to their health. Maybe they’ve lost their hair from chemo, or lost the movement on one side of their face due to a stroke, or maybe you meet someone new who only has one arm or is missing some fingers. I’m not talking about the woman who dyed her hair purple or the man with his new toupee - I’m talking life altering. I feel rude pretending like I don’t see it, where maybe it would be more comforting to just acknowledge the difference.
I was on an airplane the other day and sat next to this young gentleman 24 years of age. I immediately assured him I wouldn’t talk the entire 3 hour flight… I lied. I had a great time sharing my whole life story with him, and he seemed to enjoy it. He had the nicest smile that appeared to say “tell me more” - so I did!
When I finally took a breath I asked him what he does for a living. He informed me that he is a Marine and that was when I noticed he was missing a leg. I tend not to have a filter, so I blurted out, “Is that how you lost your leg?” I instantly looked to see if his smile disappeared. It didn’t. He told me the story of how he lost his leg in battle, how his biggest regret was having to leave his team behind and that he desperately wants to be back with them fighting for his country.
Suddenly, I felt silly for showing him where I was once bitten by a hamster (no lie). I was so proud to be sitting next to this war hero and I feel that I am a better person having heard his story, which I may not have had I not “blurted.” So, I ask you this, is it OK to acknowledge someone’s difference in appearance and possibly learn something great about them, or is it more polite to act as if you don’t notice until they bring it up?
Just asking…


Comments

1BillieRay(19 comments)posted 1 year, 2 months ago

Probably depends on how good a communicator you are. Sounds like in your example you had already befriended this youg man and he felt comfortable to talk to you. But if the first thing you said was something about his leg he may have been more guarded.

Suggest removal:

2BillieRay(19 comments)posted 1 year, 2 months ago

You story reminds me of an old joke. There was a young man who lost an eye and he was poor and could only afford to have it replaced with a wooden one. It was obvious the eye was fake and he was very self concious about it. He went to a dance and he saw a girl sitting alone and wanted to ask her to dance but was ashamed of his eye. He noticed even though she was pretty, she did have a large nose so he said to himself ' if I ask her and she makes fun of my eye, then I will just make fun of her nose '. So he meekly walked over to her and said " Miss, would you like to dance ". Well she had been waiting so long and was so excited she exclaimed " Oh would I would I !!" and he yelled back " Big Nose Big Nose !! ".

Suggest removal:

3nojimbo(223 comments)posted 1 year, 2 months ago

Regarding sitting through the life story on the plane --- the scenes from "Airplane" come to mind starting at :38 until 1:27. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZqtNxN...

Suggest removal:

4kimboccia(8 comments)posted 1 year, 2 months ago

BillRay, Thank you for your input, and you're right we did establish a relationship first.
Nojimbo, I'm not THAT bad! LOL

Suggest removal:

5Askmeificare(700 comments)posted 1 year, 2 months ago

"When I finally took a breath I asked him what he does for a living. He informed me that he is a Marine and that was when I noticed he was missing a leg."

Seriously? You write musings on things you observe and it seemingly took you quite some time to notice someone was missing their leg (even if outfitted with a prosthetic)?!

And to rub it into your readers, you continue forth spewing:

"So, I ask you this, is it OK to acknowledge someone’s difference in appearance and possibly learn something great about them..."

But you had already stated the following:

"I immediately assured him I wouldn’t talk the entire 3 hour flight… I lied."

1]. How would you ever find something about another human being Kimmy? You're an admitted (nonstop) talker and an admitted liar!

2]. Why do you hide from us the fact that you are perhaps a hopeless narcissist? -"I had a great time sharing my whole life story with him..." and yet you waste our time asking anyone what they think? -"So, I ask you this...".

3]. Why would you deny this physically and perhaps even emotionally traumatized individual peace and quiet or at least a "normal" flight? The war took this mans leg, you took this mans life for 3 hours.

You apparently have this secret agenda to play a mind game in your column and laugh at what your "readers" respond to. Well, Kimmy, you have been found out! I am onto the game!

Shouldn't you apologize to your readers and employer?

Signed,
The one who knows.

Suggest removal:

6UticaShale(853 comments)posted 1 year, 2 months ago

Look it you girl, you are now picking up a significant readership here on the Vindy, the last in blog readership. You are accomplishing what their journalist are paid for but fail to do.

Suggest removal:

7BillieRay(19 comments)posted 1 year, 2 months ago

Askmeificare, You really need to lighten up. Instead of a boring plane ride two people connected and shared a part of their lives with each other. That is better than sitting there bored or sleeping. Kim brightened that young man's day, which is a lot more than a negative person like you would ever do.

Suggest removal:



News
Opinion
Entertainment
Sports
Marketplace
Classifieds
Records
Discussions
Community
Help
Forms
Neighbors

HomeTerms of UsePrivacy StatementAdvertiseStaff DirectoryHelp
© 2014 Vindy.com. All rights reserved. A service of The Vindicator.
107 Vindicator Square. Youngstown, OH 44503

Phone Main: 330.747.1471 • Interactive Advertising: 330.740.2955 • Classified Advertising: 330.746.6565
Sponsored Links: Vindy Wheels | Vindy Jobs | Vindy Homes | Pittsburgh International Airport